Daily Humor

[Published on this date 25 years ago, these are the winners fro= m a 2000 state-wide contest in high school English for the WORST analogy. M= ore tomorrow]   He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, = like a guy who went blind because he looked…

I&#82= 17;ve been reading Cicero’s speech in Latin for ten minutes and wonde= r what he’s talking about.Hopefully, I’ll get to a verb soo= n.   I’m finding it is easy to count= in binary. Matter of fact, it’s as easy as 01 10 1.   Homeschooling is fun, even…

Peopl= e often accuse me of stealing other’s jokes and being a plagiarist. Their words — not mine…  = Queue is spelled just with Q and four silent letters. = No, it’s not. They’re just in line waiting their turn.=   What should I do with a chemist who is…

Hello= God, I called tonightTo talk a little while.I need a friend who’ll= listenTo my anxiety and trial.   You = see, I can’t quite make itThrough a day just on my own.I need your = love to guide me,So I’ll never feel alone.   I want to ask you…

&#822= 0;We hold these truths to be self-evident. All men and women are created by= the, you know, you know the thing.” Joe Biden   “Politics is supposed to be the second-old= est profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblan= ce to the first.”…

&#822= 0;Being president is like running a cemetery: You’ve got a lot of peo= ple under you and nobody’s listening.” Bill Clint= on   “Recession is when your neighbo= r loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Ji= mmy Carter loses his.” Ronald Reagan…

&#822= 0;No man who ever held the office of president would congratulate a friend = on obtaining it.” John Adams   “If it were not for the reporters, I would tell you the trut= h.” Chester A. Arthur   “When I hear a Democrat boasting himself of the age of…

&#822= 1;There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep th= an love. Well, love and a birth certificate.” Barack Ob= ama   “I am not worried about the de= ficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.” Ronald= Reagan   “These stories…

[Not = just on Presidents Day, but all week we will share quotations from our illu= strious leaders.]   ”If I had to nam= e my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness,= it’s possible that I’m a little too awesome.”= Barack Obama   “When they…

Last = week, I took my children to a nice family restaurant. My six-year-old son a= sked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads, he said, "God is gr= eat. God is good. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more i= f…

[FREE ADVICE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY from Dr. Bob, culled from m= y experiences of being happily married for nearly 3 years. Which is not bad= , since I’ve been married 56 years . . . ]   *There are two ways to handle a = woman. Nobody knows either of…

[How = big a space do I need to write about this subject? As mushroom as possible.= ]   Momma always told me, “You are w= hat you eat.” I started eating mushrooms every day be= cause I wanted to become a fun guy.   What= is the result of…

[A bl= og reader asked for cucumber/pickle jokes. Sorry. When life gave me lemons,= I have to dill with it.]   Walking down t= he road last night, I passed a lemon cake, some lemon cookies, and a lemon = custard. I thought, “The streets are strangely desserte= d tonight.”…