Daily Humor

Man uses duct tape to fix about anything.= God used nails to fix everything.   If you think g= etting up on Sunday morning is hard, Try= rising from the dead.  = Easter comes once a year. How often do you? &nbs= p; 3 nails 1 cross 4 given  …

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0062_01DCC285.4050D370 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Doctor, Doctor, I feel like I’m a deck of cards! “Just take a seat, Bob, and I’ll deal with you later.” Doctor, Doctor, I think the pills you gave me make me feel smaller! “Well, Bob,…

In 1996 the Taco Bell Corporation announced it ha= d bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundre= ds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia w= here the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only cal= med…

"You know it’s time to leave your church when . . .&nbs= p; You’re cast as the donkey in the = Christmas cantata.   Your wife moves her membership letter to another church.=   The trustees have been marching around your house the last six days prayin= g and carrying…

[When IS the right time to leave a church? How do you know? Her= e is some advice:]   "You know it’s time to leave your church when . . .=     You return from vacation to find the visiting preacher’s name on yo= ur mailbox.   Your church…

One d= ay Joseph, who was walking along one of these hot, dirty, African roads, me= t someone who shared the gospel of Jesus Christ with him.  Then and th= ere he accepted Jesus as his Lord and Savior. The power of th= e Spirit began transforming his life; he…

 A priest, a minis= ter, and a rabbit walk into the blood bank. The rabbit said, “I believe that I am a type o.”   ~~   A woman was trying= hard to get the ketchup out of the container. During her struggle, the pho= ne rang so she asked…

 Why do North Korean children draw the best straight lines? They ha= ve a supreme ruler.   Why do= so many people in Taiwan have the same blood type? They live= in the capital city of Taipei.   Why did = the New York hot dog cart worker get fired?She…

A guy went to the eye doctor. He said, “I have= trouble seeing things at a distance.”   The doc took him over to the= window, pointed up to the sky, and asked, “What do you see up there?= ”   The guy says, “The sun.”   Doc said, “That&#821=…

Larry was an old pi= ece of lasso who steps into a cafe one day for a coke. The waitress looks = at him suspiciously and says, “Hey, Pal, we don’t serve ropes h= ere.”   Larry steps outside, ties himself into a clove hitch and= unravels one of his…

A guy walked into a butcher and asked, "Could I have th= ose from the top shelf please".   The butcher replied, "Sorry, I = can’t risk climbing the stepstool.  The steaks are too high."   ~~   = And did you hear about the butcher who accidentally backed into…

[Monday-Friday we send inane humor, but on the weekend, we s= hare a little more from the heart.  This is a repeat from February 200= 1, twenty-five years ago. Hope you enjoy it.]   A man’s daughter had asked th= e local minister to come and pray with her father.…

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother= , "Mom, guess what?  We learned how to make babies today."   T= he mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That’s interesting," she said. "Ho= w do you make babies?”   "It’s simple,"…