Daily Humor

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten = teacher shared some classroom rules with her student.   "If anyone has to go to the bathroom,” = she started, “hold up one or two fingers."   A = little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that…

Another three year old put his shoes on by himself, = but struggling to get them to fit. His mother noticed he was trying to = put the left shoe on his right foot.   She = said, "Son, do you see the problem? Your shoes are on the wrong…

[This week we’re sharing some = old-but-kinda-cute stories about children.  Yes, you’ve = probably heard some before. But still causing me to smile and hope you = will too]   A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a = litter of kittens at the neighbors . On returning…

[Wisdom takes time to = learn and develop. Age can bring wisdom, especially from a life lived = well. Maybe we can learn some wisdom from a sage like this . . . a wise = old farmer.]   Your fences need to = be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.  …

An Irishman walks into a pub in Dublin, ordered = three pints of Guinness and sat in the back of the room, drinking a sip = out of each one in turn.   The = bartender approached  him, reminding that “You know, a pints = goes flat after I draw…

Dust if you must . . . but wouldn’t it be better = To paint a picture, or write a = letter? Bake a cake, or plant a = seed? Ponder the difference = between want and need.   Dust = if you must . . . but there is…

Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 capsules at = me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish = oil.   A man was arrested at the beach today for = throwing pebbles at the sea birds. He was accused of leaving no tern = unstoned.   Don’t put a…

I am getting = older.  But I’ve heard having birthdays beats the = alternative.  I know many grif.net readers might not realize I turn = 69 today.  And how could you guess it when I look so young?  = (My pictures at the Post Office make me look 20 pounds…

My face in the mirror Isn’t wrinkled or drawn. My office ain’t dirty; The cobwebs are gone.   My car = seems so shiny Like I waxed it = anon. My abs are a = ‘six-pack’; My body’s all = brawn.   My desk is uncluttered, With papers not o’errun.…

[Loved Erma = Bombeck, and still miss her wit and wisdom]   If I had my life to = live over . . .   **I would have = talked less and listened more.   **I would have = invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained,…

Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, = if ever, smell one another? Where are  their priorities? =   ~~ Dear God, = When we get to Heaven, can we sit = on your couch? Or is it the same old story?   ~~ Dear God,…

[These are asked every few years and I am still = without an adequate answer.  But they do bring a smile.  = So many of these type of lists people post are old and stale.  = This one is just old.]   1. If = you throw a cat out…

When my grandson and I entered an old vacation = cabin at the lake, we kept the lights off until we were inside and shut = the screen door tightly to keep from attracting pesky insects. =   No use. In spite of our efforts, a few fireflies = followed…