Daily Humor

8. POPPYCOCK. = Have you ever = listened to somebody trying to talk about something that they know = absolutely nothing about? Like, you know that what they’re saying = is completely untrue, yet they insist on continuing to talk? Not = laughing! Poppycock has nothing to do with poppies…

Even native = English speakers are constantly learning new words that they never knew = existed, even though many have been around for hundreds of years. Just = understanding one more word will help you make your way through the = minefield that is English. Here are a few =E2=80=98new=E2=80=99…

H= eavens to Murgatroyd! Murgatroyd? When was the last time you heard the = word Murgatroyd? There are so many “Lost Words from our youth. = ‘Words gone as surely as the buggy whip! Sad = really!   T= he other day, a not so elderly (65) lady said something…

[Keeping up the tradition on first workday of the = month to offer some really bad puns]   Doctors tell = us there are over two billion people who are overweight.  These, of = course, are only round figures.   Venison for = dinner again? Oh deer!   I followed…

Baking A Cake (author unknown)   A = little boy is telling his Grandma how "everything" is going = wrong. School, family problems, severe health problems, etc. Meanwhile, = Grandma is baking a cake. She asks her grandson if he would like a = snack, which, of course, he does.…

I took an IQ = test, but thankfully the results were negative.   Can someone = help me know at what age I should tell my pets = they’re adopted?   Don’t spell = ‘part’ backwards. It’s a trap.   My wallet is = like an onion; when I open…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_00EA_01D2A92E.7D69EF50 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_00EB_01D2A92E.7D69EF50″ ——=_NextPart_001_00EB_01D2A92E.7D69EF50 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit [credit Dear Abby for this one] When God passed out brains, I thought he said trains, And asked for the slow one. When God passed out looks, I thought he said books…

Here are top ten = “kind ways” to refer to that colleague at work who is just a = little slow on the uptake: 1. He is a few peas short of a tuna = casserole   2. She is one Froot = Loop shy of a full bowl  …

[This is a rerun of a grif.net = from ten years ago. And still reasonably = humorous.] April 1st is National = Atheist’s Day All generalizations are = false Thou shalt not steal. The IRS = hates competition Everyone should believe the BIG = BANG theory. God spoke and BANG,…

Read this = slowly.   This dog, is dog, a dog, good = dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, a dog, senior dog, citizen dog, busy = dog, for dog, 30 dog, seconds dog!   Excellent. Now, go back and = read it without the word ‘dog’.   ~~…

[Last weekend we = shared a baker’s dozen simple sentences gleaned from the Almanac. = Today we visit the old farmer again for sage thoughts on = living]   Most of the stuff = people worry about ain’t never gonna happen = anyway.   Don ‘t judge folks by =…

[Final installment of stories about the little = ones]   A mother and her young son returned from the = grocery store and began putting away the groceries.  His mother = said he could have a treat for being so helpful.   The = boy opened the box of animal…

At bedtime, a four-year-old girl was learning to = say the Lord’s Prayer.  Her mom and dad would pray with her each = night and then she would try to remember some phrases.   One = night she was excited to try to recite it all by herself without help…