[More funny or not-so-funny jokes for all ages] My friends tell me I’m too condescending. That means I talk down to people. What’s large, grey, and doesn’t matter? An irrelephant. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Knock-knock. Who’s there? To. To who? To…

[LMP sent this humor with an added political zinger so thought I’d wait for the weekend when we deal with more serious subjects to send it] President Obama walks into a local bank in Chicago to cash a check. He is surrounded by Secret Service agents. He approaches the cashier:…

[Here are some good “bad” jokes, as well as some bad “good” jokes. You judge.] My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers. To be honest, I should have seen the signs. Who will take the second shot in the pool game? Find out after…

[A month ago I share some “humor”. Here are some more of the “best” lines of late night comedians during the past year shared by some friends. “Best” is, of course, a matter of opinion.] “A company in Missouri is selling a glazed donut-flavored vodka. Which explains why last night…

[Here are a few signs that you may be drinking a little too much coffee. Enjoy it while I get another cup.] Juan Valdez named his mule after you. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. You can jump-start your car without cables. You do 20 miles…

When the store manager returned from lunch, he noticed his clerk’s hand was bandaged, but before he could ask about the bandage, the clerk had some very good news for him. “Guess what, sir?” the clerk said. “I finally sold that terrible, ugly suit we’ve had so long!” “Do you…

It’s finally Spring. I’m so excited, I wet my plants. I tried to catch some fog in a bottle. I mist. Jokes about German sausages are the wurst. I’m offering free bungee jumps for the President and every Liberal in Congress. No strings attached. Mark it down; jokes about PMS…

Once upon a time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side-by-side, sharing machinery and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch. Then the long collaboration fell apart. It began with a small misunderstanding…

In the 1990’s I mentioned to a class of college students that I was teaching about having a “happy fizzies party”. Needless to say, the blank looks that greeted that anachronistic reference reminded me that it meant NOTHING to them. As decades passed, I fine some of my Baby Boomer…

[CS is evidently aging, unlike me, and shares the things she is learning as the years pass] 1. Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. 2. Nothing is worse than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re…

[Ron B wrote, Hey, you forgot California in today’s joke. The motto for California should be: “TAX, TAX, TAX” March Madness brings out Grif.Net jokes for kids . . of all ages] Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? Because it heard the referee was calling fouls. How many…

[note: I apologize for California’s State motto that seemed to disappear from many screens. Maybe it should be: California – “Black Hole trying to Suck the Life from the Real USA”. Must have taken me seriously. It was “California: As Seen in Movies and on TV”] Anyway, for last year’s…

Alabama: At Least We’re not Mississippi Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can’t be Wrong! Arizona: Dehyd-rific! Arkansas: Litterasy Ain’t Everthing Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character Delaware: You Need a Map to Find Us Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids Georgia: We…