Last = week, I took my children to a nice family restaurant. My six-year-old son a= sked if he could say grace. As we bowed our heads, he said, "God is gr= eat. God is good. Thank you for the food, and I would even thank you more i= f…

[FREE ADVICE FOR VALENTINE’S DAY from Dr. Bob, culled from m= y experiences of being happily married for nearly 3 years. Which is not bad= , since I’ve been married 56 years . . . ]   *There are two ways to handle a = woman. Nobody knows either of…

[How = big a space do I need to write about this subject? As mushroom as possible.= ]   Momma always told me, “You are w= hat you eat.” I started eating mushrooms every day be= cause I wanted to become a fun guy.   What= is the result of…

[A bl= og reader asked for cucumber/pickle jokes. Sorry. When life gave me lemons,= I have to dill with it.]   Walking down t= he road last night, I passed a lemon cake, some lemon cookies, and a lemon = custard. I thought, “The streets are strangely desserte= d tonight.”…

[Hope= you are all ears for our jokes about corn. And more jokes in the shopping = cart for the week ahead!]   How much does = pirate corn cost? A buck an ear.   How much does a corn flake weigh? 1 Kelloggram.   What the corniest part of…

[My j= okes last week about apples, bananas, and avocados raised a crop of obvious= ly jealous readers. But I just don’t carrot all and am going to conti= nue for a while.]   Why was Frosty inspect= ing the carrots at the grocery store? He was picking his nose=…

= “The question isn&#821= 7;t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”= ~~Ayn Rand   “The most di= fficult thing is the decision to act; the rest is merely tenacity.” ~~Amelia Earhart   “It = is still best to be honest and truthful; to…

= [Wednesday’s banana jo= kes and Thursday’s apple puns were easy. Avocado jokes for Friday? Sh= ould have waited a week for Friday the 13th) Don’t rub avocado in your eyes. You might get guacom= a.   What do you call an avocado that was = ripe 2 weeks ago?…

=   = [What i= s the core reason apple jokes and puns are so funny? Find out below.]   I went to the small corner store today = to buy some Fuji or Granny Smith or Delicious apples, but they didn’t= have any. It was a fruitless trip.  = Friend…

= [Sorry, but banana jokes are= so ap-peel-ing to me]   Why did the ban= ana go out with a prune? Because he couldn’t find a dat= e.   What do you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers.   A friend= told me that all apples were yellow.…

= Once, a moth flew into a vet= erinary clinic. The doctor saw him and asked him what the matter was. =   The moth said that he had a lot of problems.= He was not happy with his life; he was not happy with the job he was doing=…

= A man talked seriously = to his pastor about something terrible happening in his marriage. Hi= s pastor asked, "What’s wrong?" The man replied, "My = wife is poisoning me." Very surprised by this, the pastor asked= , "How can that be?" The man then pleaded, "I’m telli= ng you,…

= A little boy wanted to meet = God. He knew it must be a very long trip to where God lived, so he packed h= is small bag with Twinkies and cans of root beer and started his journey.   When he had gone about three blocks, he= met…