The Law of Diminishing Communication:
The distance between you and the nearest emergency telephone, is in inverse
proportion to the nature of your emergency. Mechanical breakdown is nothing
compared to a medical emergency.
The Law of Mechanical Repair:
When working under your car, in your garage, after your hands become coated
with grease, your nose will begin to itch, and you’ll have the sudden
demanding urge to go to the bathroom.
The Law of Gravity:
Regardless of the location, any tool, nut, bolt, or screw, pencil, pen, or
eraser, gumdrop, M&M, or Skittle, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner possible.
The Law of Probability:
The probability of being watched by someone else is directly proportional to
the stupidity of your act. Should it be particularly embarrassing as well,
the number of witnesses to your action will increase proportionately.
The Law of Random Numbers:
If you dial a wrong number, you will never get a busy signal. Someone
always answers the phone. If it is a Tuesday, they will speak a language
unknown to you, and will ask you questions in their native tongue.
The Variation Law:
When standing in line at the check out stand, or driving in your car, if you
change lines, or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster
than the one you are in now. (Yes, it works every time).
And my favorite:
The Law of the Bath:
When the bath tub is full, the water is just the right temperature, and your
body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”