Here is a variation that George Lucas (allegedly, but I kinda doubt it) created to determine your Star Wars name. To determine your first name take the first 3 letters of your last name. Then add the first 2 letters of your first name. To construct your last name, take…
01/30/13 Grif.Net – In Heaven
When her dog and a pet goat died, my five-year-old niece Whitney was told that the animals were now in Heaven. All was well until she went on a walk with her mother. Mom started a little teaching, “God made all the flowers, the trees, the bugs, and everything!” “Well,…
01/29/13 Grif.Net – Child-proof Caps
[A friend passed this story on to us.] Kyle, my four-year-old son was unsuccessfully trying to open a bottle of Children’s Vitamins. After watching his vain attempts I explained, “It’s made so only Mommies and Daddies can open it.” I easily opened it for him. Kyle stared in amazement and…
01/28/13 Grif.Net – How’s That Again?
Sometimes announcements in a church service or printed in the bulletin don’t come out exactly as desired: “The Sunday evening marital workshop ‘Make Time for your Marriage’, has been canceled due to a scheduling conflict.” “The Tuesday Weight Watcher meeting has been moved to the fellowship hall. Please use the…
01/26/13 Weekend Grif.Net – Reminder of My Task on Earth
Last Sunday we sang this in our church. Very strong imperatives about serving Christ while serving “the least of these”. “Let Your Heart Be Broken” Lyrics by Bryan Jeffery Leech (sung to tune of “Like a River Glorious” w/o chorus) Let your heart be broken for a world in need:…
01/25/13 Grif.Net – How to Get Better Offerings in Church
A seminary buddy of mine said his church offerings have been skyrocketing of late, so I asked how come so much more money was coming in. He replied, “After the singing in our service, I announce that I have a 10-minute sermon worth $1000, a 20-minute sermon for $500, and…
01/24/13 Grif.Net – – New Proverbs
Each of the following well known proverbs has a key word MISSING. Actually, with the fertile mind of Mary Y, there is a word SUBSTITUTED for the missing word. Your mission, if you choose to accept it, will be to find the erroneous word and replace it with the correct…
01/23/13 Grif.Net – Sermon Summary
I was preaching in Genesis for many weeks, so often would take a few minutes to “recap” previous messages. Last week I asked for a volunteer to summarize the sermon on original sin. A young fifth-grader volunteered, saying, “God blamed Adam. Adam blamed Eve. Eve blamed the serpent. And the…
01/22/13 Grif.Net – Love those Caddies
[I am not a golfer (thank God) but Jack forwarded these witty replies from caddies to their Golfer] Golfer: “Think I’m going to drown myself in the lake.” Caddy: “Think you can keep your head down that long”? Golfer: “I’d move Heaven and Earth to break 100 on this course.”…
01/21/13 Grif.Net – Storm Windows
[From CM, who is, btw, blonde] Last year, I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind. Today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He complained that he had completed the work a year ago and I still hadn’t paid for…
01/19/13 Weekend Grif.Net – Historic Birthday
January 19th marks the birthday of one of the greatest Americans who ever lived. I am so thankful I even have an extra day off Monday for “Equality Day” celebrated in my state, to reflect on the character and life of such a gracious and heroic Christian gentleman. Robert Edward…
01/18/13 Grif.Net – Applying Rules of Grammar
All week we’ve been sharing important grammar lessons for writing. Today is a test on what “seems” to be right v wrong. One rule dealt with “tenses” in verbs. The English language lends itself to some strange convolutions. Use the following past tenses of verbs (all of which LOOK completely…
01/17/13 Grif.Net – Can you believe MORE Rules of Grammar?
In modern writing, for good reasons, under normal circumstances, whenever you can, use prepositional phrases in limited numbers and with great caution. Avoid going out on tangents unrelated to your subject — not the subject of a sentence — that’s another story (like the stories written by Ernest Hemingway, who…