Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them. Don’t use too many quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.” Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. What if there were no rhetorical questions? Exaggeration is a billion times worse…

It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. Foreign words and phrases are not always apropos. Verbs has to agree with their subjects. All generalizations are bad. Don’t use no double negatives. Avoid excessive use of ampersands &…

Do not put statements in the negative form. And don’t start sentences with a conjunction. If you reread your work, you will find on rereading that a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do. The…

During World War II, as Hitler’s armies raced across France, thousands of Allied troops dug in along the coast of northern France in a last-ditch effort to hold off the German forces. Trapped on the beaches of Dunkirk, they knew they would soon face an annihilating attack by the Nazis.…

From the church bulletin: Because of the Recession and many folks losing jobs, anyone looking for employment is invited to a special prayer service at our church. We will join together to pray to a hire power. ~~ Some possible answers for “Partwords” Quiz from January 10th WBO = roWBOat…

Here is a list of 3 letters that appear as “part” of common words (though these letters seem NOT to really fit in ANY word!) Answers tomorrow. Example: OKK is part of boOKKeeper WBO ________________ WBE ________________ RWO ________________ BST ________________ MPH ________________ FTN ________________ TSW ________________ ~~ Dr Bob…

Research has shown that overweight computer programmers are especially susceptible to the flu in 2013. This proves the burly nerd gets the germ. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

With all the finery of new clothing for Christmas I had to remind the ladies of our church that if they questioned whether an item was suitable to their fashion tastes, they should just say “Thank You”, accept it graciously, and turn the other chic. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected]…

After another long sermon that caused many of my congregation to fight sleep, a dear saint came up after the sermon and told me, “Your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God.” I beamed (humbly, of course) replying, “Why thank you. What in the sermon made you…

In the midst of the 19th Century, Charles Haddon Spurgeon was called the “Prince of Preachers”, often filling his church with 6,000 or more to hear his share the Gospel. At the close of a particularly stirring message, a stern-looking matronly woman waited in the throngs to confront the pastor.…

A pastor and a democratic senator passed away at about the same time and met at the Pearly Gates. Being a humble servant, the minister deferred and allowed the politician to enter first. The senator was warmly embraced by St Peter and ushered to a limo and taken to the…

[Sometimes what is printed in the bulletin or said in announcement do not come out exactly the way it was intended] “Mr Smith was elected and accepted the position of head deacon. We could not find a better man.” “The church rummage sale will be held next Saturday. Ladies, please…

The owner of a bed-and-breakfast wanted to name the three available rooms in his place after Books of the Bible. He finally settled on naming the rooms ‘Matthew’, ‘Mark’ and ‘Luke’, but was at a loss as to what to name the bathroom. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus…