Grif.Net

[This week = we’ve shared new/old SIGNS of growing older.  Here is some = hard-learned ADVICE on handling advancing = years.] Remember that = you’re so old all of your friends in heaven think you probably = didn’t make it anyway.   Quit worrying = about your health. It’ll go…

EVEN MORE = SIGNS YOU ARE GROWING OLD   You find it is = easier to get older than it is to get wiser.   You recognize = that some days you’re the dog, some days you’re the = hydrant.   You wish the = buck really stopped here, since…

TEN MORE SIGNS = YOU ARE GROWING OLD   You know all = the answers, but nobody asks the questions.   You are a = "17" around the neck, a "46" around the waist and a = "112" around the golf course.   You find = yourself giving good advice…

[In January we = listed signs of ‘groaning old’ and faithful grif net readers = added some suggestions.  Most not ‘new’, but then, = neither are we.] TEN SIGNS YOU ARE GROWING = OLD   You start = complaining that "They’re building car seats too = low!"   Your ears…

When Queen = Victoria reigned in England, she occasionally would visit some of the = humble cottages of her subjects. One time she entered the home of a = widow and stayed to enjoy a brief period of Christian = fellowship.      Later, the poor = woman was taunted by her worldly…

[August is the = last chance for road trips and vacations with the kids.  Want to = entertain them with age-appropriate . . . and lame . . . jokes?  = Try some of these before the school bell rings.] Q: What do you = get when you combine an…

A neighbor was discussing the expected arrival of a new = brother for her 4-year-old son, Alex. He wanted to know when the baby = would come, and she told Alex that you can’t predict the exact = date of birth.   “You were expected on July 19th,” = she…

Two gentlemen boarded a = coast-to-coast flight and were seated next to each other on the = plane.    After = breezing through the in-flight magazine, the first man turned to the = other and asked, “What do you do for a = living?”   The = gentleman replied: "I…

Mary R wrote, = “I know I joke a lot on my posts, but on a serious note, I need = everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later, and if = it’s a success, I will be totally out of debt. I’m so =…

[Clever = wordplay from Tom Swifty, version = “H”]   "Boy, = that’s an ugly hippopotamus!" said Tom = hypocritically.   "Quick, = start a fire!" bellowed Tom heatedly.   "These = boxing gloves must weigh 4 pounds each," said Tom heavy-handedly. =   "The = doctors had to remove…

[None of these = are original with me. All of these receive a hearty “Amen” = from me. Some wise words from Dakota ranchers, Indiana farmers, = Massachusetts truck drivers, Missouri mothers, or Florida = vets.]   Live a good, = honorable life. Then when you get older and think…

Several years ago, we headed to a nearby town to visit = some relatives. I had a new car and was having fun driving fast on the = twisty country roads.   As we zoomed along, I noticed a three-legged chicken = keeping pace with me. I slowed to get…

I tell my grandkids that I was too shy to ever talk to the = pretty girl I really liked.    One day she was skating where the ice was thin. When it = broke, she fell right in.   I heard her cry out and jumped right in and…