Grif.Net

6-year-old: = “I’ve finished dinner.  What’s for = dessert?”Me: “We don’t always have to have = dessert.”6-year-old: “Then why have dinner at = all?” ~~6-year-old saying nothing, just staring up at = my faceMe: “What is it, sweetie?”6-year-old: = “Is my nose weird, too?” ~~6-year-old walking = thru cemetery looking…

When our grandkids came from Illinois to Wyoming, we tried = to show them around and teach the little ones about life on the = range.   On one trip to a ranch, we saw a mare nursing her = foal.  My granddaughter, aged 4, asked me what the horse…

A recent = Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a US driver’s = license.  They started with the mandatory eye test. The = clerk showed him the screen with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z in = 20/20 size…

Many years = ago, I was interviewed for a position as Dean of a small college in = suburban Dallas.  I had been a full-time pastor about 15 years, = with two churches that had Christian Schools, and now wanted to expand = my ministry “beyond traditional Sundays”.  Here are…

OXYMORONS IN = EVERYDAY EXPRESSIONS.  One last glance at these odd word = combinations. How many of these have slipped into your = vocabulary?   Working = vacation   Plastic = silverware   Controlled = chaos   Original = copy   Only = choice   Act = naturally   Old…

One of = England’s famous hymnists and most popular poets of his time was = William Cowper (pronounced “koo-per”), 1731-1800.  He = was the forerunners of Romantic Poetry and recognized by Samuel = Taylor Coleridge as "the best modern = poet".   After being = institutionalized for insanity, Cowper found refuge…

[For those who = took out a small business loan to buy gas and drive West for a vacation, = here are some riddles to help pass the time in the = minivan]   Q. What did = the cowboy say at his second rodeo?A. This ain’t my first =…

My wife was a certified nutritional consultant, and her = shop carried a wide variety of alternative health products. One day a = cowboy came in and said, “I’d like some vitamins for my baby = boy”.   Teresa asked, “Are you looking for = Vitamin B or C or D?”…

Friends are = the chocolate chips in the cookies of = life.      The trouble with life = is there’s no background music.    Germs = attack people where they are weakest. This explains the number of head = colds.      It’s not just the ups = and downs that make life difficult. It’s the =…

Everyone needs = to believe in something. I believe in = chocolate.      I don’t suffer = from stress. I am a = carrier.      Work harder. People = on welfare depend on = you.      Errors have been made. = Others will be blamed.      I’m = out of bed and dressed. What more do you =…

If we quit = voting, will they go = away?      When money talks, no = one criticizes its accent.      I = refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed = person.      Tell me what you = need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without = it.      Due to inflation, the…

A cyber-friend = of mine wrote me a note in July 2000 and I came across it this morning . = . .   “I am = enjoying your great sense of humor, of which you cannot hide between = serious lines. You have a great webpage at www.grif.net  and…

[After sharing = SIGNS of growing older, we need some hard-learned ADVICE on handling = advancing years.] You should not = be afraid to die. Just plan NOT to be there when it = happens.   Get used to = the idea that in retirement you never get a day…