Grif.Net

A few more fall jokes to keep the whole family groaning togethe= r.   Q: = Did you hear about the kid who had too much pie this last fall? = A: He got autumn’y ache.   Q: What do you call a cold day in S= eptember? A: Septem-brrrrrr…

Here are some fun questions to ask the kiddos at dinner todayQ: Why did Dad shop for Reynolds Wrap? A: Mom mentioned she wanted to see fall foliage.   Q: Why was the robot couple de= cide to get married in the fall? A: They we= re autumn mated.  …

Rich forwarded, Tonight, I gave each of our girls a small rock = about the size of a marble and a sucker. I had them put the rock in their s= hoe and the sucker in their mouth, then walk to the corner and back. You sh= ould have heard…

Linda was with her mother while her older sister was being e= xamined by a dentist. Linda kept herself busy playing with toys in the wait= ing room until she noticed that her Mom was resting, with her eyes closed. =   Linda marched up to her mother, looked her…

CARDS YOU WILL NEVER SEE IN THE RACK AT THE DRUG STORE   Cover= "Congratulations on your promotion." Inside "Before you go, would like to take this knife out of my = back. You’ll probably need it again."   Cover "Looking back over th= e years we’ve been together, I…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0022_01DB09A7.01BBE0C0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Here is an updated installment of “firsts” in Wisconsin in a variety of categories. Learn why this State was our choice for university, for grad school, for our first home as newlyweds, for two wonderful pastorates,…

News Release: New York City. A truck loaded with cases of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed as it lef= t a New York printer last night.  According to the Associated = Press, witnesses said they were stunned, startled, aghast, taken back, stup= efied, confused, punchy, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mi= xed…

I know you have been wondering why baby diapers have= brand names such as "Luvs", "Huggies", and "Pampe= rs’, while undergarments for old people are called "Depends".   H= ere’s why.   When babies go in their pants, people are still gonna L= uv ’em, Hug ’em and Pamper’ em.…

A Church-goer wrote a letter to the editor o= f a newspaper and complained that it made no sense to go to church every Su= nday. He wrote: "I’ve gone for 30 years now, and in that time I have h= eard something like 3,000 sermons, but for the life…

What day is worse than Friday the 13th? Monday the whatever.   What do you call someone in a Hollywood h= orror movie who wakes up on Saturday the 14th?= Lucky. Why do fish hate Friday the 13th? Actually, they hate every fry day.   Why did the old m=…

Rhonda C.inquired, “What has 4 letters= , sometimes 9 letters but never 5 letters?”   David A. boasted, “Saw an ad for a used car that said it ran g= ood, but the radio volume was ‘stuck on high’. Such a great dea= l I just couldn’t turn it down.”…

[Here are some famous sentences from literature.  Your tas= k, if you choose to accept it, is to give either the BOOK or the AUTHOR fro= m which we lifted the sentence.  To REALLY show mastery, you may give = them BOTH. Or just read the sentences and smile and…

[Here is the top 25 Oxymoron List as published October 26t= h, 1998, in the Grif Net Blog.  The answer to your question is &= #8220;Yes, you’ve been wasting your brain power reading this stuff fo= r way too long.”]   25.    Childproof __________ 24.    "Now, then …" 23.    Synthetic…