Grif.Net

FOR ORIGIONAL CONTEST CLICK HERE  Many came up with the obvious – “Old owls never die, they just don’t give a hoot” Here are some of the “basic” answers: Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance. Old bankers never die, they just lose interest. Old cleaning people never…

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments…

I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold. Gregory, 5 I hear angels all the time in my dreams. And I’m sticking with that no matter how many people tell me I’m crazy. Molly, 8 Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget…

Did anybody happen to notice this week the picture God painted for us as we watched the events of the day unfold on every news station around the world? The portrait of three men’s lives shown clearly through the events of their deaths. One a wise man, one a foolish…

Yesterday (Thursday) we got 12″ of snow and then slammed in the deep freeze. -19F and gonna get colder. Winds picking up to blizzard strength, so no school. So thought up some neat jokes for the kiddos fitting for a day like today. Q. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?…

Memo: All Choir members. We are learning a new Hymn – to be sung to the tune St. Denio [“Immortal, Invisible”]. Have the words memorized by this Sunday. Immoral, impossible, God only knows How tenors and basses, sopranos, altos At service on Sunday are rarely the same As those who…

IF FAMOUS HISTORICAL FIGURES WERE LOOKING FOR A JOB TODAY… Julius Caesar: My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I’d like to get away from all that. Jesse James: I can list among my experience and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of…

A kleptomaniac woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket in Myrtle Creek and had to appear in court, taking along her long-suffering husband for marital support. The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her that, considering her record, he was forced to impose…

In our busy office, a computer going down causes quite an inconvenience. One day, a computer not only crashed, it made a noise that sounded like a heart monitor. “This computer has flat-lined,” a co-worker called out with mock horror. “Does anyone here know how to do mouse-to-mouse resuscitation?” ~~…

A wife, one evening, drew her husband’s attention to the couple next door and said, “Do you see how devoted that couple is to each other? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don’t you do that?” The husband replied, “Okay, dear, but I don’t really know her that…

The bride said I am getting older. I denied it. I’m still in my 50’s and have memories of the world under Ike, but I’m not “old” like my parents. So I made a list of famous actresses that I thought were “beautiful” or “sexy”. Then she shared the approximate…