Step #1: Never be more than 12-steps from chocolate Step #2: If you get chocolate on your hands when you eat it, you are eating it too slowly Step #3: If you ever utter that filthy word “exercise”, immediately wash your mouth out with chocolate Step #4: Realize that it…
04/19/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Remember Those Who Serve Us
In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. “How much is an ice cream sundae?” “Fifty cents,” replied the waitress. The…
04/18/08 Grif.Net – Remembering
April 18th brings memories. No, I wasn’t there, but along with the Charge of the Light Brigade, these two are my favorite historical poetry. And love reading it as prose, since so much is chopped when done in the sing-song of 4th graders. Read it with me today. Paul Revere’s…
04/17/08 Grif.Net – A Rank Quiz
‘Rank’ this quiz – I will give you a name, actor or nickname of a character (real or fictional) and you list the correct military rank. Note: No rank will be repeated, making this really tough. Ex: “Crunch” (rank = CAPTAIN, from the cartoon cereal character) So “Captain” has been…
04/16/08 Grif.Net – Truth on your 1040?
[This just might happen]. RING . . RING “Good morning, Sovereign Grace Church. How may I help you? “I’d like to speak with Pastor Griffin?” “This is he.” “This is Special Agent Smith from the IRS. I’m calling to inquire about a member of your congregation, a Dr. Jones. Do…
04/15/08 Grif.Net – Philosophical World Views (part 2)
MORE “philosophical views” that just fell short of a passing grade . . * Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow. * Attempt to get a new car for your spouse – it’ll be a great trade! * Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route. * Everybody…
04/14/08 Grif.Net – Philosophical World Views (part 1)
As a former Professor of Rhetoric, Practical Theology and Natural Philosophy, I once assigned my students to define some “Philosophical World Views”. These did NOT earn a passing grade! * If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. * Experience is something you don’t get until…
04/12/08 Weekend Grif.Net – Obstacle in Our Path
In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping…
04/11/08 Grif.Net – Solution?
I didn’t check Snopes or Hoax busters to see if this actually works or if it’s a scam or a hoax. It has been said that if you ever get the sudden urge to run around the house without any clothes on . . . you should spray yourself with…
04/10/08 Grif.Net – The Banana Test
Many enjoyed yesterday’s test on being a psychopath. So another revealing test is in order, says BJ from the blizzards of eastern Wyoming. There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by. They decide…
04/09/08 Grif.Net – Psychopath?
Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the bottom for the result. This is not a trick question. It is as it reads. No one I know has got it right. Statement: A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a…
04/08/08 Grif.Net – A Third Baby, part 2
Diapering: 1st baby: You change your baby’s diapers every hour, whether they need it or not. 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed. 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging…
04/07/08 Grif.Net – A Third Baby, part 1
Mommy’s wardrobe: 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. _____________________________________________________ Preparing for the Birth: 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.…