Grif.Net

A five-year-old said grace at family dinner one night. “Dear God, thank you for these pancakes…” When he concluded, his parents asked him why he thanked God for pancakes when they were having fried chicken. He smiled and said, “I thought I’d see if He was paying attention tonight.” ~~…

My granddaughter Cami Rose turned 6 yesterday and when I called I mentioned that her middle name was so pretty because it was a flower and a color. Of course, this got me thinking about making up a quiz game for her (and you all, if you dare). Just look…

The minister was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to, after the worship service, ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore, he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was sick and a substitute…

A man was leaving a 7-11 with his morning coffee and newspaper when he noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. adrese bucuresti ajutor incalzire piese bmw cabina camion carnet auto constructii noi video clipuri romanesti mancare copii firme dezmembrari referat audit financiar accesorii scule regim alimentar…

Easter is early this year. Easter is always the 1st Sunday after the 1st full moon after the Spring Equinox (which is March 20). This dating of Easter is based on the lunar calendar that Jewish people used to identify Passover, which is why it moves around on our Roman…

Senior Exercises – The Doc told me to start an exercise program. Not wanting to harm this old body, I’ve devised the following: MONDAY Beat around the bush Jump to conclusions Climb the walls Wade through the morning paper TUESDAY Drag my heels Push my luck Make mountains out of…

[from a tongue-in-cheek home school blog some “reasons” why you should not home school!] Most parents were educated in the under-funded public school system, and so are not smart enough to home-school their own children. Children who receive one-on-one home-schooling will learn more than others, giving them an unfair advantage…

[Randy forwarded this to the grif.net as a reminder about living life every day.] Bosses at a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for five days before anyone asked if he was feeling…

A small town was having a problem. Squirrels had invaded four churches in the town. Each church tried different ways to get rid of them. The Baptists decided to wait until the squirrels wandered into the baptistry and then they would close the lid and trap them. But the squirrels…

Newlywed Cooking Diary It’s fun to cook for Harold. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls. Harold wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn’t dress, but…

[For new subscribers to the Grif.Net: on Monday-Friday we send out a slightly warped blend of humor. On the weekend we send out material that is more serious of a moral, ethical, religious or political nature. This weekend I think it odd to be celebrating two birthdays bookending today. Thought…

[Birthday Week Humor concludes today on my actual 60th Birthday with the GOOD NEWS of becoming a “senior saint”:] ~All of your favorite movies are now revised in color. ~You keep repeating yourself. ~Pulling an “all-nighter” means not getting up to go to the bathroom. ~At cafeterias, you complain that…

[In honor of Birthday Week, we are reminded of some signs of hitting the big 60] ~You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of campers form a circle and start singing “Kumbaya.” ~You look both ways before crossing a room. ~You realize that a stamp today…