Grif.Net

1. Too many clicks spoil the browse. 2. The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail. 3. A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click. 4. You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks. 5. Great groups from little icons grow. 6. Oh, what…

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change. Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I…

The economy is so bad. Motel Six won’t leave the light on. The Mafia is laying off judges. A truckload of Americans got caught sneaking into Mexico. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. CEO’s are now playing miniature golf. Gold diggers are…

[Carol forwarded this. Author Unknown.] One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and…

In Texas, a woman was called in front of a grand jury for possible manslaughter charges after she shot a mugger in the back six times as he was running away with her purse. He had grabbed her purse and ran. But she had her hand on her gun inside…

[Yesterday’s Grif.Net on “Neighborhoods” left out the IDIOTS who live there. We’ve all run into them] A new resident of a semi-rural area called the local township administrative office to request the removal of the ‘Deer Crossing’ sign on our road. The reason? “Too many deer are being hit by…

My neighborhood was so tough that the kids had to be muzzled to protect the pit bulls. My friends lived in a neighborhood where kids set up lemonade stands. My neighborhood was so tough that the kids set up ammo stands. My neighborhood was so tough that instead of using…

Dear

A CREED (Edgar Guest) Lord let me not in service lag. Let me be worthy of our flag. Let me remember when I’m tired, The sons heroic who have died. In freedom’s name and in my way, Teach me to be as brave as they. In all I am, in…

[My family name is “Griffin”, Americanized from “Gryphon” of Welsh and Irish mythology. As I put up our flag in remembrance of the fallen soldiers of generations past, I found myself humming my favorite marching song. The last time I sang this song was many years ago, with the men…

[Borrowed from Prairie Home Companion] Just remember, a hard boiled egg is really hard to beat. Seeing a hungry man, you go to your bank and withdraw money, and give the man $10. You may have fed him for a day or two. However, if you teach that same man…

Pinocchio, Snow White, and Superman are out for a stroll in town one day. As they walked, they come across a sign: “Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.” “I am entering!” said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, “Well,…

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to help with sleep while reducing the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom…