Now it’s time for the man’s rules. We always hear “the rules” for the
feminine side. OK. We are now going to hear the rules from the man’s side.
These are our rules!
Please note these are all numbered “1” on purpose. [Copied, the original
source is unknown . . or more likely in hiding]
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it
down.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that
way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work
Strong hints do not work
Obvious hints do not work
Just say it!
1. We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. YES and NO are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea
what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. I’m in shape. ROUND is a shape.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
“Jesus knows me, this I love”