Grif.Net

A young lady came home very sad from a date. She told her mother, “Zach proposed to me an hour ago.” “Then why are you so sad?” her mother asked. “Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn’t even believe there’s a Hell.” Her mother replied,…

[Actual remarks made by soccer commentators – forwarded to me by someone who mistakenly thinks I care about soccer] 1. Well, it is Liverpool two, Ipswich nil, and if the score stays this way, I’ve got to fancy Liverpool for the win. 2. He had an eternity to play that…

[Associated Press] The Arctic Ocean is warming up, icebergs are growing scarcer and in some places the seals are finding the water too hot, according to a report to the Commerce Department yesterday from Consul [omitted], at Bergen, Norway. Reports from fishermen, seal hunters and explorers all point to a…

A collector of rare books ran into an acquaintance who told him he had just thrown away an old Bible that he found in a dusty, old box. When asked about it, the fellow mentioned that Guten-somebody-or-other had printed it. “Not Gutenberg?” gasped the collector. “Why, Yes! That was it!”…

The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. “How are you, darling?” she said. “What kind of a day are you having?” “Oh, mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day.…

A little girl was sitting with her grandmother, who had presented her with her first little children’s Bible, in an easy-to-read translation, when she was very young. Now, a decade or so later, the elderly lady was ready to spend a few sweet moments handing down the big old family…

[Gramma forwarded this chuckle] Gladys Dunn had recently moved into a retirement community in a small town in Florida. One beautiful Sunday morning she walked to a church not far from her apartment. She was in awe of the beautiful church, as well as music from the choir. She wasn’t…

A little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning, He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee she had ever had! When she had heroically gulped down the last of the liquid she saw three green army men in the…

I put my carry-on in the luggage compartment and sat down in my assigned seat. It was going to be a long flight. I’m glad I have a good book to read. Perhaps I will get a short nap,’ I thought. Just before take-off, a line of soldiers came down…

#10 ~ Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that? #9 ~ Hand me that, uh, that uh, thingie. #8 ~ Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hey, this guy’s got two of ’em! #7 ~ Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! #6 ~…

#10 ~ Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that? #9 ~ Hand me that, uh, that uh, thingie. #8 ~ Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hey, this guy’s got two of ’em! #7 ~ Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! #6 ~…

Are you tired of those sissy ‘friendship’ poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of True Friendship. You WON’T see cutesy little smiley faces; just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. 1. When…

There were two rich brothers who looked great on the outside, even attending church regularly, but whose hearts were evil. A new, more astute pastor arrived at the church. The congregation grew and a fund raising campaign was started to add a new auditorium for the church. All of a…