Grif.Net

If you think you are beaten, you are; If you think you dare not, you don’t! If you’d like to win, but you think you can’t, It’s almost certain you won’t. If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost; For out in the world we find Success begins with a fellow’s…

Many years ago I spent time on the Wind River Reservation here in Wyoming. Loved to “tap into” the Indian culture and talk with men there. A friend shared a story about one such encounter. One of the men he knew shared meanings and symbols of his native language and…

Mike was a well-loved and very smart college history professor. But he couldn’t believe it — he’d made it to the last round of his favorite game show. “Congratulations, Mike,” said the emcee. “Answer correctly and you go home with five million dollars! Miss either part and you will get…

Did you hear about the weekly poker game with the early world explorers? Vasco da Gama held a pair, Christopher Columbus was ace high, and Henry Hudson had three of a kind. But they never could beat the Straights of Magellan. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me,…

A poodle and a collie were walking down the street. The poodle turned to the collie and complained, “My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is having an affair with a German shepherd, and I’m nervous as a cat.” “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?”…

My wife was in labor with our first child. Things were going pretty well when suddenly she began to shout, “Shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, didn’t, can’t, don’t!” Frantic, I asked, “Doctor, what’s wrong with my wife?” “Nothing. She’s just having contractions.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This…

[Forwarded by a grif.net factory worker] I work in a major US factory. We make refrigerators. Four thousand, five hundred new refrigerators every day – but this focus is on one man who works in this huge factory. I’ve seen him around for years but never paid much attention. He…

Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a ‘gripe sheet,’ which tells mechanics about problems with…

A young man called directory assistance. “Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona.” “There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix,” the operator replied. “Do you have a street name?” The young man hesitated, and then said, “Well, most people call me…

Which month has 28 days? All of them! What did the hat say to the scarf? You hang on around while I go on ahead! If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become? Wet! Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.…

If the red house was made out of red bricks, and the blue house was made out of blue bricks, what was the green house made out of? Glass! What runs but never walks? Water! What kind of coat you can put on which doesn’t have buttons, a zipper, or…

ABDICATE: to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. ADULT: One who has stopped growing at both ends and now grows middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before…

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art. When the Viet Nam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very…