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10. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 9. While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket. 8. Leave him a note, explaining that you’ve gone…

It was the Feast of St Stephen, so Good King Wenceslas phoned Domino’s for a pizza. The salesgirl asked him: ‘Do you want your usual? Deep pan, crisp and even?’ ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

The old story is told about a man who looked upon Christmas as a lot of humbug. He wasn’t a Scrooge. He was a very kind and decent person, generous to his family, upright in all his dealings with other men. But he didn’t believe all that stuff about God…

If you stop believing in Santa Claus, you will start getting clothes for Christmas. ~~ I told Santa you were good this year. He hasn’t stopped laughing since! ~~ Christmas: The time of year when everyone gets Santamental. ~~ What is a webmaster’s favorite hymn? Oh, dot com, all ye…

As a little girl climbed onto Santa’s lap, Santa asked the usual, “And what would you like for Christmas?” The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: “Didn’t you get my E-mail?” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

To – All Employees From – Management Subject – Office conduct during the Christmas season Effective immediately, employees should keep in mind the following guidelines in compliance with FROLIC (the Federal Revelry Office and Leisure Industry Council): 1. Running aluminum foil through the paper shredder to make tinsel is discouraged.…

In a Toy Store: “Ho, ho, ho spoken here.” At the Bridal boutique: “Marry Christmas.” Outside a church: “The original Christmas Club.” At a department store: “Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and mangle with the crowd.” At a Texas jewelry store: “Diamond tiaras — $70,000. Three for $200,000. Outside the…

“Weekly church is God’s gift. Assembly required.” “Where will you spend eternity? Smoking or Nonsmoking?” “Seven days without prayer makes one weak.” “Feeling in the dark? Follow the Son.” “No God? No Peace. Know God? Know Peace.” “Free Trip to Heaven. Details Inside.” “Try our Sundays. They’re better than Ben…

[Uncertain of the accuracy of all details, but good story nonetheless] Back in the 50’s there was a well known radio host/comedian/song writer in Hollywood named Stuart who was noted for his drinking, womanizing, partying, etc. One of his bigger hits at the time was “I won’t go hunting with…

In preparation for the festive office parties, family gatherings and all-out reveling around the Christmas/New Year season, a preacher was waxing loud and long on the subject of temperance. “Wouldn’t this world would be a better place if everyone poured their beer into the river?” “Amen!” went the congregation “And…

Children’s questions often cut to the heart of the matter: Who does God root for when the Padres play the Angels? If I write down all the things I want to do before the end of the world, is it an apoca-list? When Jesus gave the sermon on the mount,…

Yesterday, December 7th, an old Jew was shopping in a local mall and came across an Asian fellow just window-shopping and minding his own business. He walked up to the Asian and gave him a whack. “What was THAT for?” “Sinking the Arizona at Pearl Harbor!” “Wait a minute!! I’m…

All of our home-school children were asked to create a picture of something to do with the REAL Christmas story and bring it to church. Lovely and imaginative creations adorned our meeting room as each child explained his vision of Christmas. Wise men, Star, Angels, Shepherds – all expected fare…