Grif.Net

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone. He just loved it. Who wouldn’t? I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when she bought me an iPad. My daughter’s birthday was in August, so I got her…

If you’re like me and can’t afford medical coverage, then I have some good news that I’ve found out from flying recently. Bypass the clinic and go straight to an airport. There you’ll get a free full-body x-ray and a free breast exam. And if you mention Al Qaeda, you…

The following list was compiled by a Lutheran who, observing other Lutherans, wrote down exactly what he saw or heard. Having been raised in Minnesota, I laughed and laughed at the accuracy of the list (laughed WITH them, not AT them). Feel free to change this to your favorite religious…

I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem. The money is always greener in the other guy’s wallet. If We Quit Voting, Will They Go Away? When money talks, no one criticizes its accent. My bank account needs month-month resuscitation. I’m out of bed and dressed. What…

Mother’s Day has the most phone calls Mother’s Day has the most meals eaten out Mother’s Day has the most plants/flowers Mother’s Day has the most cards (not Christmas cards) Mother’s Day has the most collect phone calls (oops – that’s Father’s Day) Mothering Sunday, commonly called “Mothers’ Day” in…

A woman was in the hospital for intensive tests. The doctor said to her, “I have some bad news for you. You only have three months to live.” “Oh that’s terrible,” the woman sighed. “What would recommend for me to do?” The doctor replied, “I would advise you to go…

A guy in my office revealed to me that, in a moment of tender romantic passion he had asked his girlfriend to marry him. Of course I immediately asked, “What did she say?” “I don’t know. She hasn’t returned my text yet.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows…

Here is a good question to ask your clergymen or anyone who comes across as if they know all about the Bible. Yes, I speak from personal embarrassment . . . Ask, “If David was the father of Solomon, and Joab was the son of Zeruiah, what relation was Zeruiah…

When his computer printer began to print out faintly, a man called the repair shop. The clerk said: “From your description of the problem, the printer probably only needs cleaning. It will cost you $50 if you bring it in and have it cleaned here, so really you’d be better…

Lets be honest. English is a quite silly language. There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger, and neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England. French fries were not invented in France. We sometimes take English for granted, but…

If you start with a cage containing five monkeys and inside the cage, hang a banana on a string from the top and then you place a set of stairs under the banana, before long a monkey will go to the stairs and climb toward the banana. As soon as…

Some years ago my family and I visited Egypt. Did the pyramids, Egyptian Museum (with King Tut treasures), the Sphinx, etc. At a bazaar shop we were told that many of the items on sale were cheap reproductions for tourists, but others were genuine. Holding up a curious find, I…

Some years ago the president of a Baptist College shared some humor about the number of the beast. He said, “If you can’t laugh at Satan and make fun of the Beast, you have problems.” So from his sermon illustration comes . . . 666 Mark of the Beast 668…