Grif.Net

[CH shared this story that sounds a tad apocryphal . . and political] I was eating lunch with my 7-year-old grandson and I asked him, “What special day is next Monday?”   He said “Memorial Day!”   He is a smart kid.   I asked “What does Memorial Day mean?”…

When the cat was run over by a car, the mother quickly disposed of the remains before her four-year-old son Billy found out about it. After a few days, Billy finally asked about the cat. “Billy, the cat died,” his mother explained. “But it’s all right. He’s up in heaven…

One of my granddaughter’s classmates at the Christian school was found by his teacher with pencil and paper, making a sketch. When asked what he was doing, he answered promptly, and with considerable pride: “I’m drawing a picture of God.” “But,” gasped the shocked teacher, “you can’t do that. No…

On an end-of-the-year field trip, a kindergarten teacher was walking her class along the road when a fire engine roared past. Sitting in the front seat was a Dalmatian. The children immediately started debating the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep the crowds back,” said one. “No,” said another.…

Teacher: In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia? Johnny: Holding up the telephone lines. ~~ Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Tommy’s test paper. Johnny: I hope you didn’t see me either! ~~ Teacher: I think you copied off Tommy in that test. Johnny: What…

A joke making it around the ‘net relates that the Pope is working in his office one day when a very excited priest comes rushing down the hall, robes flying. “Padre! Padre! I have news!” the priest pants as he skids into the room. The Pope looks up patiently from…

My wife’s best friend was telling some ladies about the burglar scare in her house the night before. “Yes,” she said, “I heard a noise and got up, and there, from under the bed, I saw a man’s legs sticking out.” “Mercy!” exclaimed a woman. “The burglar’s legs?” “No, my…

1. Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella. 2. You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a group of men by 50% without recrimination. 3. The maximum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who’s running late is five minutes. For a girl running late,…

God said: “What’s the matter, Adam? You look so miserable all the time.” Adam said: “I’m bored having nobody to talk to.” “Right,” said God, “I’m going to give you a companion. She will be called a woman. This person will gather food for you, cook for you, and when…

Recently I was asked to play in a golf tournament. At first I said, ‘Naaahhh! I’m just not that good.’ Then they said to me, ‘Come on, it’s for handicapped and blind Kids.’ Then I thought . . . “I could win this!” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus…

Looking in a baby-name site (for research, NOT personal need) I came across this list of the most obnoxious names. 1. “Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined”. Some young (and possibly insane) British teenager actually legally changed his name to this long and…

“Today’s school problems are a result of fear. The teachers are afraid of the principal. The principal is afraid of the superintendent. The superintendent is afraid of the school board. The school board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. And the children are afraid…

[Kay forwarded this story KNOWING I would love it] A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from…