Capitalism – He who dies with the most toys, wins. Hari Krishna – He who plays with the most toys, wins. Catholicism – He who denies himself the most toys, wins. Anglican – They were our toys first. Greek Orthodox – No, they were OURS first. Islam – He who…
10/02/12 Grif.Net Blog – Middle East Dog Fight
The Israelis and Iranians decided they did not want nuclear war and if things continued to escalate they were going to blow each other up. One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight. They would breed the best fighting dog in the…
10/01/12 Grif.Net Blog – October Pun o’the Month
[BN in Wyoming and DR in Nebraska forwarded favorites, thinking they HAD to be better than the lame ones I come up with. You be the judge.] A. Watching the Denver Broncos destroy Oakland on television Sunday made for TDious viewing. B. Practice senseless acts of kindness. But don’t use…
09/29/12 Weekend Grif.Net Blog – Medical Freedom
THANKS TO ALL WHO VOTE YES! Thank you to all who support the Wyoming Constitutional Amendment “A”, which concerns the Patient Protection and Affordable Health Care Act. Our opinion (on behalf of ourselves, our families, and our clients) is straight forward: We are dedicated to the defense of the right…
09/28/12 Grif.Net Blog – Writers and Light Bulbs
How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to…
09/27/12 Grif.Net Blog – Not sure of the Next Generation
After spending a couple hours with some young adults, I have come to the following conclusions: 1. Typical science student thinks the Energizer Bunny disproves that “conservation of energy” theory. 2. Most can’t locate the earth on a globe. 3. Many think “Bill Nye the Science Guy” is a grunge…
09/27/12 Grif.Net Blog – Not sure of the Next Generation
After spending a couple hours with some young adults, I have come to the
following conclusions:
1. Typical science student thinks the Energizer Bunny disproves that
“conservation of energy” theory.
2. Most can’t locate the earth on a globe.
3. Many think “Bill Nye the Science Guy” is a grunge band.
4. If they can’t find a Number 2 pencil for a test, they bring half of a
Number 3.
5. Some think “Algorithm” might be a former Vice President bustin’ a move on
the dance floor.
6. All have short attention span. When given a math problem, they think “5
+ 3 equals … Hey! Nickelodeon is running a Brady Bunch marathon . . . ”
And the sad part? Six out of five math teachers say there’s no problem
whatsoever.
~~
Dr Bob Griffin
[email protected] www.grif.net
“Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”
09/26/12 Grif.Net Blog – Waiting in Line?
A bus carrying only ugly people crashed into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside died. As they stood at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Paradise and meet their Maker, God decided to grant each person one wish because of the grief they had experienced. They’re all lined up, and…
09/25/12 Grif.Net Blog – Update from a Friend
I asked an old college prof who had just celebrated birthday #80, “How are you doing?” His STATUS UPDATE caused me to look ahead with trepidation. “I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran. I finally…
09/24/12 Grif.Net Blog – You Might be a Cajun If . .
Watching “Wild Kingdom” inspires you to write a cookbook. You won’t eat a lobster because you think it’s a crawfish on steroids. You take a bite of 5-alarm Texas chili and reach for some Tabasco. You pass up a chance to meet the president to go to the Crawfish Festival…
09/22/12 Weekend Grif.Net Blog – When We See Potential Trouble
“A prudent man sees evil coming and avoids it, but the foolish continue on and are penalized.” Proverbs 22:3 (GET Real Bible) Warning! Danger! Proceed at your own risk! If you saw this warning on a bridge, you would find another route to be safe. Foolish drivers (some drunk, some…
09/21/12 Grif.Net Blog – Hot Dog Vendor
A Buddhist Monk walked up to the New York City hot dog vendor and said “Make me one with everything”. The Monk handed the merchant a $20 bill. The vendor gave him a hot dog, and put the $20 into his pocket. Immediately the Monk asked about his change. The…
09/20/12 Grif.Net Blog – “Stressed” spelled backward is “desserts”.
This is a specially formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds during the day. BREAKFAST 1 grapefruit 1 slice whole-wheat toast 1 cup skim milk LUNCH 1 small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach 1 cup herbal tea 1 Hershey’s Kiss as…