The owner of a bed-and-breakfast wanted to name the three available rooms in his place after Books of the Bible. He finally settled on naming the rooms ‘Matthew’, ‘Mark’ and ‘Luke’, but was at a loss as to what to name the bathroom. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus…
01/01/13 Grif.Net Blog – Puns for the New Year
On New Year’s Eve I found a four-leaf clover in a patch of poison ivy, and now I’m waiting for a rash of good luck. I don’t feel religious out in the woods cutting firewood. Seems I can no longer hear a Stihl small voice. Questions asked by grif.net reader…
12/31/12 Grif.Net Blog – LAST 2012 Edition of Words by Which to Live by
I’ve been dieting for a week and all I’ve lost is seven days. Give me ambiguity or give me something else. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps. Why experiment on animals with so many lawyers out there? There are two rules for success in life. Rule 1: Don’t tell people…
12/29/12 Grif.Net – Old Cemeteries
It takes an odd person who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries and smile at fascinating things on tombstones! Here is a collection: From Tombstone, Arizona’s famous Boot Hill: Here lies Lester Moore Four slugs from a .44 No les no more ___________________________________ Harry Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903–Died…
12/28/12 Grif.Net – Trouble Ordering Past Food
Bob (at Dairy Queen): “Could I have a hot fudge sundae with extra hot fudge?” Counter Girl: “The hot fudge only comes in one temperature, sir.” ~~~ A few years ago, I commented (at Hardees): “I guess Christmas falls on a Friday this year.” Employee: “Oh my goodness. I really…
12/27/12 Grif.Net – 11 Days before Christmas
[This is the final choice of special grif.net Christmas stories from the past 16 years. Sadly, it is from 2012] ‘Twas 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38, when 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven’s gate. Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air. they could hardly believe all the…
12/26/12 Grif.Net – Christmas at the Gas Station
[This is the sixth serious grif.net story from the past 16 years of Christmas poems and stories] The old man sat in his gas station on a cold Christmas Eve. He hadn’t been anywhere in years since his wife had passed away. It was just another day to him. He…
12/25/12 Grif.Net – Old Story
CHRISTMAS STORY FROM GOSPEL OF LUKE “And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. (This taxing was before Cyrenius was governor of Syria.) And all went to be taxed, every one into his own…
12/24/12 Grif.Net – Just Sayin’ Merry Christmas
HOW TO SAY “MERRY CHRISTMAS” IN OVER 70 LANGUAGES! Afrikander – Een Plesierige Kerfees Arabic – I’d miilad said oua sana saida Argentine – Felices Pasquas Y felices ano Nuevo Armenian – Shenoraavor Nor Dari yev Pari Gaghand Azeri – Tezze Iliniz Yahsi Olsun Basque – Zorionstsu Eguberri. Zoriontsu Urte…
12/22/12 Weekend Grif.Net – Roses in the Snow
Bobby was getting cold sitting out in his back yard in the snow. Bobby didn’t wear boots; he didn’t like them and anyway he didn’t own any. The thin sneakers he wore had a few holes in them and they did a poor job of keeping out the cold. Bobby…
12/21/12 Grif.Net – White Envelope
[4th offering of the “best grif.net” of sixteen Christmases] It’s just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past 10 years or so. It all began because my…
12/20/12 Grif.Net – Slippers
[This is a true story and has been turned into a short film and a country western song] It was only a few days before Christmas. The spirit of the season hadn’t yet caught up with me, even though cars packed the parking lot of our local discount store. Inside…
12/19/12 Grif.Net – Pageant
Each December, I vow to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I had cut back on nonessential obligations – extensive card writing, endless baking, decorating, and even overspending. Yet still, I found myself exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments, and of course, the true meaning of Christmas.…