Grif.Net

In the summer of 1960, my father took our family on a camping trip in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. He wanted to see the rugged beauty of that region with special focus on 3 places he had wanted to share with us: (1) The newly-opened Mackinac Bridge that rivaled…

[Jack forwarded this chuckle. More truth than most want to admit.] Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case? Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they do without you at work? Juror: Yes, but I…

In 1965 a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess his sin, so went to his priest. “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During World War II I hid a Jewish refugee in my attic.” “Well,” answered the priest, “that’s not a sin. As a matter of…

Some advice I want to share to all the grif.net blog readers. As a pastor I desire all of you to live safely. Please . . . Do NOT ride in automobiles: They cause 20% of all fatal accidents. Do NOT stay at home: 17% of all accidents occur in…

[Rose asked if we’d seen these signs. Mix of old/new ones.] In a store: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS On a job site:…

Fishmore & Dolittle – Retirement Planners Young at Heart – Slightly Older in Other Places In Dog Years I’m Dead I Always Cook with Wine. Sometimes I Add It to Food Geezer: Not Young. Not Old. Somewhere Inbetween I’m Speeding because I have to Get There before I forget where…

You may be asked, “What is it like to be a Christian?” Just remind them of Halloween: “It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in and washes all the dirt off you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the…

My teenage daughter turned down a job as a restaurant hostess because it just an entry level position. A golf buddy has now taken up playing pool. He loves pool tables because there are six holes in one. Dave reminded me that alcohol and calculus do not mix, so please…

“How was your blind date for the Halloween Party?” a lovely young clerk at our office asked her co-worker. “Terrible!” the gal answered. “He came by to pick me up in a fedora driving his 1932 Rolls Royce.” “Wow! That’s a very expensive car. What could be so bad about…

Overheard by kids choosing costumes for Halloween: “I want undress up and go as Miley Cyrus.” “I want to go trick-or-treating as a skeleton, but I have nobody to go with.” “I want to go out all wrapped in white bandages head-to-foot, but I don’t think I’m ready to be…

[Passed on to me as true. I’d believe it.] Our mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home to check on us. She’d forgotten to charge her cell phone, so used the motel room phone and called collect. Since my dad…

I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists’ canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches. Customer: “Can you please cut some canvas for me?” Me: “Certainly, what width?” Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) “Scissors?”…

[True story, shared by a friend] My son Gilbert was eight years old and had been in Cub Scouts only a short time. During one of his meetings he was handed a sheet of paper, a block of wood and four tires and told to return home and give all…