Grif.Net

[I get notes from my friends and loyal Grif.Net readers on how their life is going. Thank you. Yes, you know who you are.] I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. I spilled spot remover on my dog.…

The minister was passing a group of middle-school teens sitting on the Church lawn and stopped to ask what they were doing. “Nothing much, Pastor,” replied one boy. “We were just seeing who can tell the biggest lie about their sex life.” “Boys, boys, boys!” he scolded. “I’m shocked. When…

[DC and others asked questions to which I had no easy answer] If Satan ever loses his hair, will there be hell toupee? If the choir leader works only part-time, is he a semi-conductor? If you go around singing “Deck the Halls”, do you think that will make Mr. and…

[The Great War to “end all wars”, 1914-1918, is 100 years ago now. I am stopping the frivolous humor of the daily Grif.Net on this Veteran’s Day to pay tribute to those who gave the last full measure of devotion in that war, and to all who faithfully serve today…

I’ve decided to cook the prime rib to serve at the potluck supper. The pastor’s 1992 mini-van has served him long enough. Let’s buy him a new Lexus SUV. Let’s park in the back of the lot, so those older people can get a parking place near the door! For…

Some years ago on a hot summer day in south Florida a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving a trail of shoes, socks, and…

Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front pew. I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over-time. Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf. I’ve decided to give our church the $500 a month I used to send to TV evangelists. I…

[More “trouble” for husbands with big mouths. ML shares these stories. Do not know if they are true.] While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a…

A little boy went up to his father and asked: “Dad, where did my intelligence come from?” The father replied. “Well, son, you must have got it from your mother. I still have mine.” ~~ “My wife got me to believe in religion.” “Really?” “Yeah. Until I married her I…

[I serve as election judge today, so grif.net humor is posted at 5 am. Ugh. I get to initial ballots (after my co-workers vet each person; we take elections seriously in Wyoming – this isn’t Illinois) to make them valid. Praying that Americans will make some RIGHT choices today.] Overheard…

[First of each month I share some really lousy puns and wordplays. No exception for November. Sorry.] I had a happy childhood. My Dad would put me inside a tire and roll me down a hill. Those were Goodyears. My Ultra Sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use other…

Did you know this weekend is one of the most significant times in church history? No, I’m not talking about Halloween, Day of the Dead or All Soul’s Day. I’m talking about ‘Reformation Day’. And even though I didn’t see neighborhood kids going door-to-door dressed like Martin Luther or Ulrich…

Chocolate is big business, and Halloween is its biggest holiday. According to an October 2013 survey from the National Confectioners Association, 72% of all candy spending on Halloween will be on chocolate. Last year, more than $12.6 billion was spent on chocolate in the United States, an increase of nearly…