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Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker were having one of their little father-and-son chats with light-sabers drawn and sparks flying. Vader pinned Luke against a bulkhead and glared into his face, “I know what you’re getting for Christmas, Luke,” he said. “Oh, yes, I know!” Luke fought himself free and jumped…

For my sisters and me at Christmas, the only thing worse than having to go to bed on Christmas Eve was waking up Christmas morning about four o’clock and knowing we could NOT wake our parents that early. Dad and Mom made clear any wake-up call before seven would not…

On a winter night in Moscow, a Russian spy named Rudolph came in from the storm, joining an American couple for dinner. After complaining that it had stopped snowing and now was raining, his friend’s wife pointed out the window and said it seemed like it was sleet, neither snow…

Monday was the last day to send boxes in the mail for Christmas. I received a Christmas package in the mail today, but when it arrived it was all damp. I called to complain to our local post office. They said it was not really wet, but just had postage…

Did you know that according to the song, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, Santa has eleven reindeer? We all know the first eight. The song goes, “There’s Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid, and Donner and Blitzen.” Then there’s Rudolph, of course, so that makes nine. Then…

Our children were having fun setting up and rearranging all of the items in the manger scene. (It was odd to see Barbie kneeling at the manger, but somehow appropriate). When evening came and the children off preparing for bed, I looked at their final rendition. Every item was there,…

The only difference between the “Christmas alphabet” and the “regular alphabet” is that the Christmas alphabet is missing a letter. It has no L. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me, This I Love!”

This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_02A4_01D0166E.F90A2670 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_02A5_01D0166E.F90A2670″ ——=_NextPart_001_02A5_01D0166E.F90A2670 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Yes, I’m sending 12 PUNS of Christmas, but this is a serious weekend edition on 12 Bible passages to read for Christmas. Dare you. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows…

When calling Dominoes Pizza at Christmas, the caller asked for a pizza cooked the King Wenceslaus style. Having never heard of such, the worker asked exactly what that entailed. He was told such a pizza could have any combination of toppings, but must be deep pan, crisp and even. ~~…

We heard that the San Francisco 49’ers were upset in their loss to Oakland Sunday. They signed Ebenezer Scrooge and his spirit friends to be the new quarterback and throw some touchdowns. Evidently they read that the ghost of Christmas passed. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me,…

Heard about the fracas in a hotel lobby when a bunch of grandmasters of chess were arguing about who was the best player? Manager had to kick them out. Obvious trouble when you have chess nuts boasting in an open foyer. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net “Jesus Knows Me,…

The first Christmas there were actually FOUR kings who came from the East searching for the baby Jesus. They were named Why, What, Where, and a fourth king, Whence. Along the way, Whence (with no GPS?) took a wrong turn on his camel, separated from the caravan, and was never…

[Thought that over the next 12 weekdays we would share some wonderful puns and word plays of the Christmas season. Some might be good ones, but don’t hold your breath. Thinking of starting a Christmas humor website – Oh.com/all_ye_faithful] Here are some random thoughts to get us all smiling and…