Grif.Net

[Final installment on “taxing humor”. Until next year.] **People who struggle with their income tax can be divided into two categories: Men and women. **Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what’s called a RED FLAG. That’s something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left…

[Late-night talk show hosts have some words for the US tax system] “It’s fitting that April 14 is National Pecan Day because today, we recognize nuts. And tomorrow, on April 15, we pay our taxes to support them.” “I’m not going to pay taxes. When they say I’m going to…

“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.” – Mark Twain “I owe the government $3,400 in taxes. So I sent them two hammers and a toilet seat.” – Michael McShane “The hardest thing in the world to understand is the…

A man’s daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father. When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows. An empty chair sat beside his bed. The minister assumed that the old fellow had been…

Tax his land, tax his wage, Tax his bed in which he lays. Tax his tractor, tax his mule, Teach him taxes are the rule. Tax his cow, tax his goat, Tax his pants, tax his coat. Tax his ties, tax his shirts, Tax his work, tax his dirt. Tax…

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS auditor who had come to review his records. At one point the auditor exclaimed, “We feel it is a great privilege to be allowed to live and work in the USA. As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,…

[More humor on Taxes; it is THAT time of the year after all] I long for the good old days when Uncle Sam lived within HIS income and without most of MINE. America is the land of opportunity. Everybody can become a taxpayer. It’s hard to believe America was founded…

[Our Breakfast Cereal Quiz last week garnered good response, so thought we’d focus on just one of the offerings and see what you remember about my very favorite cereal, “Cap’n Crunch”] 1. Do you know the full name of the Cap’n? 2. Do you know his two greatest enemies? 3.…

My friend man was driving down the road when all of a sudden he had to swerve violently to avoid a box falling off the truck in front. Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket, the driver said “Sir, the…

PASTOR: Lord, we pray for children who put chocolate fingers everywhere, who like to be tickled, who stomp in puddles and ruin their new Easter outfits, who sneak Popsicles before supper, and can never find their shoes. CONGREGATION: And we pray for those who have no shoes, who stare at…

[Most of these “Knock Knock” jokes are for younger Grif.Net readers, but some will make you scratch your head for a while.] How come there’s no Knock Knock joke about America? Because freedom rings. Knock Knock Who’s there? Ice cream! Ice cream who? Ice cream if you don’t let me…

[Another dose of off-the-wall lame jokes, guarantee to make friends and co-workers break down in sighing and eye-rolling as you tell them today. And I know you will. Maybe even share this blog post.] I used to think the brain was the most important organ. Then I thought, look what’s…

[Every month we try to start out with foolishness. April 1st is like Christmas and birthday rolled into one for me with exponential fun!] Einstein developed a serious theory about the cosmos, and I think it was about time, too. If we got rid of all the margarine, would the…