Grif.Net

[Yeah, I hear you groan and whine month after month. But you still read these awful puns. And LOVE them.] I just heard that a radical segment of the woodworkers union broke off and formed a splinter group. Sign at a Wyoming nudist camp: “Sorry – Clothed for Winter” Geologists…

1= 0. Hardee’s/Carl’s Jr — Where our identity crisis is the = star. 9= . McDonald’s — New cooler coffee (on many levels). 8= . Starbucks — Now with 0.9% financing on the new Quad = Macchiato. 7= . KFC — We’re NOT a rap group.6= . 5 Guys –…

[Ken and others shared some troubling signs = that scientists have gone too far with genetically modified = food:] Your hot dog just got its own ketchup and = relish from the fridge . . . You spot the tell-tale signs of a primitive = central nervous system in your…

In a convent  in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother = Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around  her bed trying to = make her last journey comfortable. They tried  giving her warm milk = to drink but she refused it.   One of the =  nuns took the glass back…

[Micah shared this tale and = deserves credit and/or blame] Last December, an avid hunter = in England shot the biggest buck of his life. He was mighty proud of his = feat, and he decided to give his buck to the girl for whom he had a = great…

[Here are delightful quotations to help us = appreciate and reflect on Christmas we just enjoyed = yesterday:]   "The best of all gifts around any Christmas = tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each = other."   "I wish we could put up some…

Today in the town of David a Savior has been born = to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You = will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.” — = Luke 2:10-12   The night that =…

Jay Leno =3D “I bought my = Christmas tree today. I think I made a mistake, though. I bought the = three year extended warranty.  I don’t think I need = that.”   ·         = Phyllis Diller =3D "What I don’t like about = office Christmas parties is looking for…

It= was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the = prisoner, “What are you charged = with?” “Doing my Christmas shopping early,” replied the = defendant. &#= 8220;That’s no offense,” said the judge. “How early = were you doing this shopping?” “A couple hours…

Buying gifts for men is = not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these rules and you = should have no problems.        = Rule #1: When in doubt – buy him a cordless drill. It does = not matter if he already has one. I have…

When I was a kid at Christmas we couldn’t afford = tinsel.  We had to wait for grandpa to sneeze toward the = tree. Christmas is the time when = people put so many bulbs on the outside of their houses, you don’t = know if they’re celebrating the birth…

[Adapted by Paul Harvey for ABC = Radio] Unable to trace its proper parentage, I have designated = this as my Christmas Story of the Man and the Birds. You know, THE = Christmas Story, the God born a man in a manger and all that escapes = some moderns,…

[Sorry these are late, with our cell-service problems, = ] Here are some basic rules = given by my English teacher to remember sentence structure in your = thank-you notes this year. 1. Saint Nicholas is the main = Clause. 2. His wife is a = relative Clause. 3. His…