Grif.Net

EYE: The highly susceptible optic nerve which, = according to Mom, can be "put out" by anything from a = suction-arrow to a carelessly handled butter knife. FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your = children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial = disaster.…

AIRPLANE: What Mom impersonates to get a = 1-yr.-old to eat strained beets. APPLE: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which = children will trade for cupcakes. BABY: 1. Dad, when he gets a cold. 2. Mom’s = youngest child, even if Jeremy is now 43. BATHROOM: Room used by the entire family,…

[Yes. First weekday of the month, and you must face = the PUNishment.]   I have friends who swear they dream in color but I think = it’s just a pigment of their imagination.   God was tired after making a 24 hour period, so He decided to = call…

I = could not let April close without the story of Samuel = Whittemore (July 27, = 1696 – February 2, 1793), an American = farmer and soldier. He was 78 years of age in April 1775 when he became = the oldest known colonial combatant in the American Revolutionary…

It seems = a group of leading medical people have published data that indicates = that our Jewish friends should NOT partake of both chopped liver = sandwiches and leftover apple-walnut charoses from the Seder at the same = meal this week. It is indicated that this combination may lead…

A Jewish = friend of mine took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He = sat down on a bench and began eating. Shortly thereafter a blind man = came by and sat down next to him. Feeling = neighborly, the Jew offered a sheet of matzo…

Questions from my family as we celebrated = Passover over the years . . . Jeremiah: “Dad, why do we read from our = Haggadah at Passover?”Me: “So we can Seder right = words.” Josh: = “If we took ten Jewish buddies of mine to dinner and they ordered =…

[I hope = my gentile friends are catching bits and pieces of Seder = humor] Every family has one. We = assign my Uncle Herbert to the far end of the table with the little kids = so he won’t destroy the good company at the Passover Seder with =…

[“Don’t Sit on the Afikomen” (To = the tune of “Glory, Glory, Hallelujah”) for my children who = endured many Seders in public explaining the Jewish story of = Redemption/Deliverance to the parallels of Jesus’s life and = death.] My Dad at every Seder breaks a matzo piece in =…

A= son took his elderly father to a restaurant for = dinner. D= uring the meal, his father would continuously drop food onto his shirt = and trousers. And while other customers turned around = and gave the pair unpleasant looks, the son was calm and helped = his father clean…

During one of my many trips to London, I = became friends with a very wealthy, yet very modest, Jewish businessman = named Hyman.  On one visit, Hy told me that because of his large = donations to charities through the years, the Queen wanted to knight = him. He…

I was = walking the grandkids on a warm spring day when a fire truck zoomed = past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. = The children began discussing the dog’s duties. =        "They use him to keep = crowds back," said…

How do you irritate English teachers? Homophones! = Their easy two bother, butt the list is to long too post hear. = Inn case you do knot understand, bear with me.  Eye think its shore = fun to right a hole paper and let her pour over it, trying to…