Grif.Net

Two cows were outstanding in their = field.   Cow #1 – “Did you hear about another = outbreak of mad cow disease?”   Cow #2 = – “Yes, it is scary.  Good thing I’m a = helicopter.”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] www.grif.net = "Jesus Knows Me,…

[First weekday = of the month, so the grif.net is forced by tradition to again share lame = puns and word plays.]   I call the = change in my pocket “chicken feed” because it’s such a = poultry sum.   Television now = days is called a “medium” because…

“Daddy, can we build a = birdhouse today?” my 7-year-old daughter, Makenah, asked me early = one Saturday morning as I was knee-deep in a “honey-do” = project list.   “Well, … “ I = hesitated. With a house and four children under 8, I had discovered that = my…

[Still enjoying time with grandkids. Which means I get = to make all sorts of jokes and in return they get to give me blank looks = . . and hope I go away soon.]   Q. Grandpa, = why did grandma refuse to go on ocean cruises? A. Her…

In 1996 I spent two weeks in China and Hong Kong as = my wife received an award.  What a country! Memories of the Great = Wall, Ming Tombs or the Forbidden City are still vivid. I found many = people there who could speak English and was more than…

[Week 6 = of summer reading book ideas]   ‘Suspense’ by Cliff = Hanger ‘Touring Churches in Europe’ by Cathy = Draal ‘Lexicon’ By Dick = Shunnery ‘Pavlov’s Bell’ by Sally = Vating ‘Your Future’ by Claire = Voyance   ‘Life Before Cars’ by Orson = Buggy   ‘Studies in…

[If rolling your eyes is exercise, consider the Grif.Net = your new Fitness Center. Now take this simple quiz.  We will post = the answers to these posers tomorrow, after you stew a while and realize = you AREN’T as smart as a fourth grader.]   1. What = letter…

[Someone ran with the idea of making a funny summer = reading list of possible books.  But for kids.  These will = leave a scar.]   "Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great = Microwave Games"   = "Strangers Have the Best = Candy"   = "The Little Sissy Who =…

·         = [Grand-parentin= g is fun and games.  Especially when I get to play some = old-fashioned games AND maybe sneak in some lessons, too.  These = are on my agenda this week.]·         =  ·         = (1) = HOPSCOTCH.  If my joints are up to it, I’m going to =…

Q. Why do bears have lots of hair?A. Fur = protection   Q. What is the best thing about elevator = jokes? A. They work on many = levels   Q. What happens every time you want to start a = diet? A. A chocolate bar looks at you =…

This morning I was sitting on a park bench next to = a homeless man, I asked him how he ended up this way.   He = said:  "Up until last week, I still had it all!  Plenty = to eat, my clothes were washed & pressed, I had a…

[Fifth in our list of possible books = I’d like to see written]   ‘A Lute or a Guitar?’ by = Amanda Lynne ‘French Windows’ by Pattie = O’Dors ‘Becoming a Member of Mensa’ by Jean = Yuss ‘Early Rock & Roll Music’ by Tristan = Shout ‘My Nightmare Journey’…

[Going to see four grandkids this week, so need to get = ‘warmed up’ on jokes that will make their eyes = roll.]   Q. What happened when 19 and 20 got into a = fight? A. 21   Q. What are = the only sort of bagels served in…