Grif.Net

[Headin’ to the left coast and catching a = football game Thursday night, so sharing more football jokes to cheer up = da Bears fans.] Three Bears fans were bemoaning the sorry = state of their football team. “I blame the general manager,” = said the first fan. “If he…

[I’m off to San = Diego this week to (hopefully) see the Broncos humiliate the Chargers at = home. So thought five days of lousy football jokes might cheer the = losers up.] A first-grade teacher couldn’t believe her = student wasn’t thrilled about baseball’s World Series.  = “It’s a…

This week we celebrated our 20th = anniversary of sending out the Grif.Net email and blog. Many don’t = know the history of the grif.net. We started teaching at Pillsbury = Baptist College in 1996 and the school had just set up a computer lab = for the new-fangled “internet”.=A0…

Since my purchase came to $19.06, I handed the clerk a = twenty dollar bill.   She asked, = “Do you have the six cents?”   I fished = around in my pocket and came up empty.  “Sorry, I guess I = don’t having cents.”   I think I =…

Many have asked about the hundreds of staff obviously = working around the clock to make the grif.net blog possible.  = (Borrowed liberally from Click and Clack, the Tappet = Brothers)   Grif.Net Director of Strategic Planning =3D Kent C. = Detrees   Grif.Net Facebook Care Representative =3D Kurt =…

Sometimes autocorrect makes me post words I = didn’t Nintendo.   My brain = said “crunches” but my stomach autocorrected to = “cupcakes”.   I tried to = type “Kardashian” but I think “lard ashcan” = sounds like a good name for the family, too.   Yes, I love =…

I walked slowly into the saloon but no one was = there.  I asked the bartender where all the townspeople = were.   “They’re watching the hanging of notorious = ‘Brown Paper’ Pete,” he replied.   I had to = ask, “Why do they call him ‘Brown Paper’ = Pete?”…

[Our tradition of offering really lame puns on the = first weekday of every month continues.  You’re = welcome.]   A woman cannot ask her brother for help because he = can’t be a brother and assist her too.   Remember, = clones are people two.   When I was…

[If this hymn were written truthfully about modern = church, this is what it might look like] BACKWARDS, CHRISTIAN = SOLDIER by Cranny Fosby   Backwards, Christian soldiers, fleeing from the = fight, With the cross of Jesus = nearly out of sight: Christ our = rightful Master stands against…

[Last questions to see if you’re really = getting “old”.  BTW, you are.]   1. = Have you stopped buying natural foods because you need all the = preservatives you can get?   2. Do = you find yourself giving good advice instead of setting a bad = example?  …

[Ten more questions to test yourself about getting = “old”.]   1. Do = you wake up in the middle of the night tired and listless, and get out = of the recliner and go to bed?   2. Do = you know "where it’s at", but forgot “why it’s…

[I am starting a check-list to see if I’m = really getting “old”.  Feel free to test yourself = answering these questions about you or your spouse.]   1. Do = you get up to change the TV channel (you lost the remote long ago) and = then decide as…

Some time back I was asked for a contribution for a = church ladies group’s cookbook.  I love to cook, so I was glad to = share a recipe sure to please a church.   ELEPHANT STEW 1 medium elephant 100 lbs. carrots 400 lbs. potatoes 50 onions (large)Seasoning to…