Grif.Net

A Russian naturalist and a Czech scientist had = spent their whole lives studying the majestic grizzly bear. Each year = they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to = Yellowstone to study these wondrous beasts. Finally, their request was = granted and they immediately flew to…

Captain Kidd prepared with his crew to search = for buried treasure. Before setting out he consulted with his dentist, = who advised him that all the best treasure out there was in the gold = fillings of the teeth of various bodies, such as he might find in a…

[A week of painfully pun-fully stories = begins] A medieval kingdom was situated on an island in the sea. = A bridge connected the island to the mainland. The problem was, anyone = who tried to cross the bridge would be attacked by giant mystical hand = with bright yellow…

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress = tied with a bow. Today was = ‘Daddy’s Day’ at school, and she couldn’t wait to go. =   But her mommy tried to tell her that she probably = should stay home. Why the kids = might not…

What do hard-working grocery store clerks get = every year?A celery increase. Are zombies real? Of corpse they = are. What do modern artists eat for = breakfast?Surreal. What do pelicans eat?Anything that fits = the bill. How does a pair of pants feel when it is = ironed?Depressed. Why…

[A grif.net reader in a small town in North Dakota = shared this]   I was = checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady = behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. Now, in a small town = nobody…

A small grocery store had just installed some = new juice machines, and everybody who worked there was excited about who = would be chosen to run them. One employee in particular, a grocery = carry-out/bagger, was determined to get the job. He went to the manager = and made…

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the = menu that you could have an order of 6, 10 or 20 Chicken = McNuggets.  I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don’t have = half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the = counter.   "You don’t?" …

[Another installment of jobs/workers that make the = Grif.Net function]   Grif.Net = Chaplain =3D Neil Down   Grif.Net = Activities Coordinator =3D Dewey Hafta   Grif.Net = Cardiologist =3D Angie O’Plasty   Grif.Net = Acupuncturist =3D O. Howard Hertz   Grif.Net = Barber =3D Les Offenbach   Grif.Net =…

THOUGHTS OF A BLOOD DONOR.  In light of = catastrophes in America and around the world, many people have been = challenged to "give blood".  It IS still needed, and is a = gesture of hope, unity, and understanding of the tragedy that befalls = us.    I went to…

[Final football humor based on watching the game last = night (which was lousy for 3 quarters then standing on the seats for the = last 30 minutes!]   Watched the = game and saw the problem. I concluded that there were 22 men on = the field who desperately…

[Kick-off tonight.  This means another lousy = football joke for you, and no change from a $20 bill for a soda and = luke-warm hot dog for me.] Hours after = the end of the world, a border dispute emerged between heaven and hell. = God invited the Devil for…

[Not a fan of airlines, but gotta get out of Wyoming = to see any professional football game. And at least one team playing = tomorrow is professional.]   My wife said = she could really identify with professional football players.  = When I asked her how she identified with…