Grif.Net

A man with a cucumber in his ear, a carrot in = his nose, and a tomato in his eye walked into the doctor’s office. He = said, "Doc, I’m not feeling well. What’s wrong with = me?" The doctor replied, "First of all, I = don’t think you’re eating…

A lady went into her butcher shop complaining = about some hot dogs she had just bought. "The middle of each hot = dog was meat," she exclaimed, "but the ends were just filler = and cereal!" "Well," said the butcher. = "These days it’s hard to make ends =…

Grif.Net Ice-skating Instructor =3D Landon = McKeester   Grif.Net Pension Fund Manager =3D Dot = Comstock   Grif.Net Pseudonym Consultant =3D Norm De = Plume   Grif.Net Photographer =3D F. Stop = Fitzgerald   Grif.Net Plastic Surgeon =3D Fay = Slift   Grif.Net Personal Trainer =3D Jim = Shortz  …

Gene Kelly made An American In = Paris in the studios in Hollywood. The next year he decided = to make a film which this time would be shot on location in Paris. =   So he went over there with = the camera crew, and the first scene called…

This is a multipart message in MIME format. ——=_NextPart_000_0386_01D23741.F917E3A0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=”—-=_NextPart_001_0387_01D23741.F917E3A0″ ——=_NextPart_001_0387_01D23741.F917E3A0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=”us-ascii” Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit [November 5th, 2016 at 11 am today we will have the memorial service for my mother-in-law’s second husband, Carl Collea. They were married 20 years and he passed into the presence of…

One day three fishermen were out in a boat in = the Gulf of Mexico. They had not caught a thing all day when suddenly, = one of the fishermen’s poles started jerking. He grabbed it and started = reeling in his line and shouting, "I got something! I got…

I recently saw a distraught young lady in tears = beside her car in the parking lot. “ Do you need some = help?"  I asked.   She = replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote = door unlock-clicker.  Now I can’t get into my…

[Many liked our listing of “saints” to = help us that we shared on the eve of All Saints Day.  Well, as = least one person did. Or maybe said it wasn’t half bad. So here = are a few more Patron Saints.]   *For = seamstresses =3D St. Itch…

[First of the month, so MUST immerse grif.net readers = in the highest quality puns and word plays. Or not.]   The sheep rustler who broke out of jail = is now on the lam.   A friend = enjoys eating and hates exercise, but her little boy still thinks…

[The witches are being chased back to their covens = and the demons to Pandemonium. The saints are in charge again. If you = are praying to the wrong saint, or not getting satisfaction from your = favorite saint, try these patron saints]   *For = postal workers =3D St.Amp…

There’s a curious = connection between Halloween and Reformation Day, and it’s more = than just proximity on the calendar. Why did Martin Luther nail his = famous 95 Theses to the Wittenberg church door on October 31, 1517? He = was confronting two religious observances that promoted false =…

[Last of our week of painfully pun-fully = stories] It’s nearly Halloween and a fellow is = walking home from work, really late, in the pitch black of night. There = isn’t another soul on the street. Suddenly, from out of the gloom, comes = an ominous bump…bump…bump. He looks…

Once upon a time in Wyoming there were three = Arapaho women. They were all pregnant, and they slept in their husbands’ = teepees on animal skins that they had killed or exotic skins they had = traded for. The first slept on a deer = skin. The second slept…