Grif.Net

[First of the month, so MUST immerse grif.net readers = in the highest quality puns and word plays. Or not.]   The sheep rustler who broke out of jail = is now on the lam.   A friend = enjoys eating and hates exercise, but her little boy still thinks…

[The witches are being chased back to their covens = and the demons to Pandemonium. The saints are in charge again. If you = are praying to the wrong saint, or not getting satisfaction from your = favorite saint, try these patron saints]   *For = postal workers =3D St.Amp…

There’s a curious = connection between Halloween and Reformation Day, and it’s more = than just proximity on the calendar. Why did Martin Luther nail his = famous 95 Theses to the Wittenberg church door on October 31, 1517? He = was confronting two religious observances that promoted false =…

[Last of our week of painfully pun-fully = stories] It’s nearly Halloween and a fellow is = walking home from work, really late, in the pitch black of night. There = isn’t another soul on the street. Suddenly, from out of the gloom, comes = an ominous bump…bump…bump. He looks…

Once upon a time in Wyoming there were three = Arapaho women. They were all pregnant, and they slept in their husbands’ = teepees on animal skins that they had killed or exotic skins they had = traded for. The first slept on a deer = skin. The second slept…

A Russian naturalist and a Czech scientist had = spent their whole lives studying the majestic grizzly bear. Each year = they petitioned their respective governments to allow them to go to = Yellowstone to study these wondrous beasts. Finally, their request was = granted and they immediately flew to…

Captain Kidd prepared with his crew to search = for buried treasure. Before setting out he consulted with his dentist, = who advised him that all the best treasure out there was in the gold = fillings of the teeth of various bodies, such as he might find in a…

[A week of painfully pun-fully stories = begins] A medieval kingdom was situated on an island in the sea. = A bridge connected the island to the mainland. The problem was, anyone = who tried to cross the bridge would be attacked by giant mystical hand = with bright yellow…

Her hair was up in a ponytail, her favorite dress = tied with a bow. Today was = ‘Daddy’s Day’ at school, and she couldn’t wait to go. =   But her mommy tried to tell her that she probably = should stay home. Why the kids = might not…

What do hard-working grocery store clerks get = every year?A celery increase. Are zombies real? Of corpse they = are. What do modern artists eat for = breakfast?Surreal. What do pelicans eat?Anything that fits = the bill. How does a pair of pants feel when it is = ironed?Depressed. Why…

[A grif.net reader in a small town in North Dakota = shared this]   I was = checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady = behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. Now, in a small town = nobody…

A small grocery store had just installed some = new juice machines, and everybody who worked there was excited about who = would be chosen to run them. One employee in particular, a grocery = carry-out/bagger, was determined to get the job. He went to the manager = and made…

Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the = menu that you could have an order of 6, 10 or 20 Chicken = McNuggets.  I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don’t have = half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the = counter.   "You don’t?" …