Grif.Net

Dust if you must . . . but wouldn’t it be better = To paint a picture, or write a = letter? Bake a cake, or plant a = seed? Ponder the difference = between want and need.   Dust = if you must . . . but there is…

Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 capsules at = me. Luckily my injuries were only super fish = oil.   A man was arrested at the beach today for = throwing pebbles at the sea birds. He was accused of leaving no tern = unstoned.   Don’t put a…

I am getting = older.  But I’ve heard having birthdays beats the = alternative.  I know many grif.net readers might not realize I turn = 69 today.  And how could you guess it when I look so young?  = (My pictures at the Post Office make me look 20 pounds…

My face in the mirror Isn’t wrinkled or drawn. My office ain’t dirty; The cobwebs are gone.   My car = seems so shiny Like I waxed it = anon. My abs are a = ‘six-pack’; My body’s all = brawn.   My desk is uncluttered, With papers not o’errun.…

[Loved Erma = Bombeck, and still miss her wit and wisdom]   If I had my life to = live over . . .   **I would have = talked less and listened more.   **I would have = invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained,…

Dear God, How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom, = if ever, smell one another? Where are  their priorities? =   ~~ Dear God, = When we get to Heaven, can we sit = on your couch? Or is it the same old story?   ~~ Dear God,…

[These are asked every few years and I am still = without an adequate answer.  But they do bring a smile.  = So many of these type of lists people post are old and stale.  = This one is just old.]   1. If = you throw a cat out…

When my grandson and I entered an old vacation = cabin at the lake, we kept the lights off until we were inside and shut = the screen door tightly to keep from attracting pesky insects. =   No use. In spite of our efforts, a few fireflies = followed…

A second grader came home from school and said to = her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies = today."   The = mother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. = "That’s interesting," she said. "How do you make = babies?"  …

Two elderly ladies met at the laundromat after not = seeing one another for some time. After inquiring about each other’s = health, one asked how the other’s husband was doing.   "Oh! = Ted died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up some carrots for…

A group of university = alumni, well established in their careers, were talking at their reunion = and decided to go visit their old university professor, now = retired.  During their visit the conversation soon turned into = complaints about stress in their work and lives.   Offering his guests…

911 Operator: = "What is your emergency?" Guy: = "My mother-in-law just got bitten by a = snake." Operator: = "Ok, you need to suck the poison out." Guy = [whispering]: "Dude, there’ll be nothing left of = her."   [Thanks, = Pastor M, for the smile today. And we…

Tom walked into = his boss’ office and told him, "Sir, I know things aren’t going the = best around here but I have three companies that have contacted me = recently. I would like a raise." His boss agreed = and after debating the amount for a while they…