Grif.Net

The Washington Post invited readers to take any = word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing = one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: =   1. Intaxicaton (n.): Euphoria at getting a tax = refund, which lasts until you realize it…

I’ve never made a fortuneand it’s = probably too late now.But I don’t worry about that = much,I’m happy anyhow. And = as I go along life’s way,I’m reaping better than I = sowed.I’m drinking from my saucer,‘Cause my cup has = overflowed.    I = don’t have a lot…

Many loyal readers know that I’m nearly 6 feet, = 6 inches tall. ‘I’m just average height’, I always = joke.  A friend came up to me very angry.  He blasted = out, “You told me the secret of your being so tall was to rub = grease on your…

DO NOT wash your = hair in the shower.   It’s so good to finally get a health warning that is = useful. It concerns the shampoo from our hair that runs down the body = when you shower. I don’t know WHY I didn’t figure this out = sooner.…

There I was, sitting = in the diner at the end of the counter, just staring at my soda.=A0 I = hardly noticed the roar of a group of rowdy bikers pulling up in the = lot. That is until the large, trouble-maker leader of the group stepped = up…

[Each year the Post holds a NEOLOGISM contest, where contestants = are asked to make up “new meanings” for common = words.]   1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one = coughs.   2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have = gained.   3. Abdicate (v.),…

[Today, Teresa and I mark 47 years together in = marriage .=A0 I gathered some quotations to help us celebrate.=A0 A = couple lame ones are my own.] “A successful = marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same = person.”– Mignon McLaughlin   “Who is wise…

[Father’s Day is bitter-sweet. My dad passed in = the fall of 1999. I have no memory of “doing” anything = special any Father’s Day with my father as a teen or young adult. = Oh, I made him a card or such when I was a kid, but when…

Dad: It’s June and school’s = finally over. How do you like being a fourth grader = now? Son: I don’t think = it’s going to be much fun. Dad: = That’s too bad. Fourth Grade was the best three years of my = life!   ~~ Dad: = Son,…

Four = Minnesotans were in the maternity waiting room at Swedish Hospital. A = nurse came to the first guy and said, “Congratulations! = You’re the father of twins.” “Twins? What an odd coincidence,” answered the = man. “I work for the Minnesota = Twins!”   Another nurse said to…

Son: I made a bad mistake today. We = didn’t have enough corn flakes for breakfast so I added some soap = flakes to it. Daughter: Was he = mad? Son: Yup. He was foaming = at the mouth!   ~~ Dad: = Son, if you keep pulling my hair,…

Joe: What does = your father do for a living? Jon: He’s a = magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in = half. Joe: Do you have = any brothers or sisters? Jon: Yep. Four = half-sisters and a half-brother.   ~~ Science = teacher: When is the boiling…

[This week leading up = to Father’s Day, we have some “dad humor” from a = child’s perspective]   “Hey, Dad, are = bugs good to eat?” asked the boy. “Let’s = not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father = warned. After dinner the =…