Grif.Net

A man = observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl riding = in her shopping cart. As they passed the cookie section, the little girl = asked for cookies and her mother told her, "No." The little = girl immediately began to whine and…

Visiting the modern art museum, = a lady turned to an attendant standing nearby, and pointed. = "This," she said, "I suppose, is one of those = hideous representations you call modern art?" "No, = Madam," replied the attendant. "That one’s called ‘a = mirror’."   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin…

No word in the English language rhymes with month, = orange, silver, or purple.   The = "sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick" is said to be the = toughest tongue twister in the English language.   "Go," is the shortest complete sentence in = the English language. =C2=A0Many agree…

Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Smoking = bacon will cure it.   Spoiler = alert! The milk has been in the fridge for three weeks.   I always = feel better when my doctor says something is ‘normal’ for my = age. But then I think dying…

BARD – verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to = borrow." Usage: "My = brother bard my pickup truck."   JAWJUH – = noun. A hot region just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup = truck."   MUNTS – noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My…

I’m looking forward to hunting season, but I do have a question.  = If I shoot a buck, but I only have a doe tag, can I claim that the buck = wasn’t really a buck?    I mean, maybe the buck always wanted to be a doe, but with…

A = businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I = want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains = cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do = you want me to do with your ashes?" The businessman said, = "Just…

I’m = thinking about writing a novel centered on the lives of two = ex-convicts. One of them studied to become a lawyer. The other = one decides to go straight.   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] www.grif.net = "Jesus Knows Me, This I = Love!"  

In 1963, major league = baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry remarked, "They’ll put a man on the = moon before I hit a home run."  On July 20, 1969, an hour = after Neil Armstrong set foot on the surface of the moon, Perry hit his = first, and only, home…

At our = University, students in the psychology program were attending their = first class dealing with emotional extremes.   "Just to establish some = parameters," asked the professor to a student from Wisconsin, = "what is the opposite of joy?"   "Sadness," said the = student.   "And the…

[First weekday = of the month means more “Adventures in Punland” for = you]   The rotation = of the earth really makes my day.   Got an email = about ‘How To Read Maps Backward’, but it turned out to be = spam.   Napoleon may = not have…

A lady had recently been born again and baptized. = When she went to work, one of her co-workers asked her what it was like = to be a Christian.   She was caught off guard and didn’t = really know how to answer, but when she looked up, she saw…

* Cleopatra lived closer in = time to the first Moon landing than to the building of the Great = Pyramid.   * The largest air = force in the world is the US Air Force.  The second largest is the = US Navy.   * A banana is =…