Grif.Net

[Hit 70 today = and still learning new texting slang for my = peers]   ATD: At The = Doctor’s BFF: Best = Friend’s Funeral CBM: Covered = By Medicare WTB: Wet the = Bed TTYL: Talk To = You Louder WAITT: Who Am = I Talking To? WIWYA: When…

[A dozen more = “reinvented” acronyms for Boomers]   TGIF: Thank = Goodness It’s Four (Four O’clock – Early Bird = Special)   FWB:= Friend = With Betablockers   FYI:= For = Your Indigestion   GTG:= Got to = Groan   JK: Just = Kvetching   TTYL: Talk = To…

I’ve = tried to be up-to-date and hip with all the new texting acronyms, but = now I’m finding Senior Citizens (like me) are using it as a new = "private language" with meanings far different than ruddy = youth might think:   BTW:= Bring = The Wheelchair   ROFL,CGU:…

[This small tract is dated 1958, but came across it = recently cleaning out a file and it seemed right up-to-date. Don’t know = to whom credit belongs.]   THE = 23rd CHANNEL   The = T.V. set is my shepherd; my spiritual growth shall = want.   It maketh…

Me: “Hey, did you get my letter?” Son: “No.” Me: “That’s odd. My carrier penguin should’ve made it by = now.” Son: “You mean carrier = pigeon?” Me: “Wait, what?”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net "Jesus Knows Me, This I = Love!"  

Wife [on phone]: “Did you pre-heat the oven like I = asked?” Me: “Yep” Wife: “What temperature?” Me: “534” Wife: “That’s the clock.” Me: Wife: Me: = “535”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] www.grif.net = "Jesus Knows Me, This I = Love!"  

Me: (on deathbed): "Will you do one thing for = me?" Wife: "Sure. I guess. What is = it?" Me: "After I’m gone, will you marry = Larry?" Wife: "Well, okay, but I = thought you hated Larry." Me: "I = do."   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] www.grif.net…

Me: “Loved being invited to team = tryouts.” Coach: “You really knocked that one over the = fence.” Me: “Thanks, Coach!” Coach: “You realize this is tennis, = right?”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net "Jesus Knows Me, This I = Love!"  

[My friend Wayne shares “conversations” he’s = had.  Knowing him, I find these somehow believable] Wife: = “Feeling better?” Me: “Yeah.” Wife: “Kind of overreacted to a cold, didn’t = you?” Me (remembering that I called the Make-A-Wish Foundation last = night): “No.” ~~ Dr Bob Griffin [email protected] www.grif.net "Jesus…

What is the difference between Planned Parenthood and = the NRA? One sells arms.  The other promotes the Second = Amendment.   [The Weekend Grif Net is designed to be = thought-provoking and serious, not the humor given during the week. = Obviously, today’s pithy little statement shows the depth…

[Back for a 31-day = March, aiming to lose more weight]   I don’t need a = personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap = the unhealthy food out of my hand.   It’ll probably = be my luck that when I finally…

[Monthly contribution for = the world of word-play] When I was young, cosmetic surgery was = almost a taboo subject.  Now I can talk about Botox and nobody = raises an eyebrow.   Sometimes I tuck my knees = into my chest and lean forward. That’s just how I =…

I was terribly embarrassed that everyone had to see the "World’s = Greatest Driver" bumper sticker on my wife’s car when it got = pulled out of the snowdrift.   I thought I saw a spider on the floor. Turns out it was a paper clip. = Anyway, it’s extremely…