Grif.Net

Spring brought a rash of new hires here at GNHQ.  = All our loyal bloggers join me in welcoming . . .   >>Grif = Net Director of Employee Loyalty Program =3D Upton = Leftus   >>Grif Net Director of Year-End Bonuses =3D = Holly Unlikely   >>Grif = Net…

I know a gal = who is a social vegan.  She avoids meet.   I’d be = vegan if bacon grew on trees.   People make = such a big deal over vegans.  I don’t get it.  = Personally, I’ve never had a beef with = one.   Dear Vegan:…

In = Colorado, a friend decided to get in on the marijuana craze by raising = his own crop in his backyard garden.  Everything was going fine = until a flock of terns landed in his garden and ate all the = seedlings.   Doing = everything he could to…

[Rerun from ten years ago that = was requested by two readers of the blog.  Now that I am past 70, = some of these are way too real.]   1. Give Me that Old Timer = Religion 2. Precious Lord, Take My Hand (and Help Me, = I’ve Fallen…

I = walked into a swanky art gallery and noticed on the wall next to the = coat-room a startling picture.   I = called over the curator and asked, “Who did this surreal, = abstract, post-modern painting of an angst-ridden, haunted old = man?”   Calmly, = he replied,…

In London, our British Airways flight was delayed = at the terminal for about an hour.  When the plane finally taxied = onto the runway the captain came on the intercom to apologize. =   Making light of the issue, he said, "Ladies = and gentlemen, I would like to…

[First weekday = of every month we try to ‘wow’ you with clever = word-play.  But after an ENTIRE MONTH OF MAY with lousy puns, this = first-of-the-month offering  probably won’t work, = either] Did you hear about the Bass Pro Shop huge paddle = sale?  Salesmen there said it…

[MAY IS = A MONTH OF PUNS.  Each weekday, we will share a couple truly bad = word-plays, puns and groaners.] When I = die, I want to be cremated.  It is my last hope of a smokin’ = hot body.   Ireland’s= capital is the world’s fastest growing city. …

[MAY IS = A MONTH OF PUNS.  Each weekday, we will share a couple truly bad = word-plays, puns and groaners.] Never date = cross-eyed people. They might be seeing somebody else on the = side. I had = a good joke about margarine, but my wife told me not…

[MAY IS = A MONTH OF PUNS.  Each weekday, we will share a couple truly bad = word-plays, puns and groaners.] I got a = new job at the game company, making pieces for chess sets.  Next = week I work knights.   The other day = someone left a…

[MAY IS = A MONTH OF PUNS.  Each weekday, we will share a couple truly bad = word-plays, puns and groaners.] Jokes about = unemployed people are not funny. They just don’t = work.   The = doctor told my wife he was going to deliver our baby.  Personally, =…

Remembering = those who fought and died to keep America free this Memorial Day = Weekend, and swore to defend and uphold the Constitution.  Would = God the modern “leaders” who swear that really keep their = word. "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the = security of a…

[MAY IS = A MONTH OF PUNS.  Each weekday, we will share a couple truly bad = word-plays, puns and groaners.] Wondered why = there was music coming out of my printer, but figured it was just the = paper jamming again. Speaking of = paper, I think toilet paper…