Grif.Net

Visited with my mailman today and he mentioned he was = taking off a couple weeks to tour Spain.  I asked with a smile, = “Are you going to visit Parcel-ona on the = trip?”   He proceeded to ignore what was one of my = better-than-usual puns, and just…

What my = friends are saying: Nate =3D “I must be hot stuff. The = cashiers around here are always checking me = out!”   Robert =3D = “A man was arrested recently for stealing an idol from a museum in = hopes of auctioning it off.=A0 Baal has been…

A couple was = touring the capitol in Washington, D.C., and the guide pointed out a = tall, benevolent gentleman as the ‘Congressional = Chaplain’.   The lady = asked, "What exactly does the Chaplain do? Does he pray for the = Senate or the House or both?"   The guide…

[Don’t = know the original source of these, but they all COULD have come from my = lips for sure!] "An = optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving = Day."— Unknown "Bless= ed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their…

God tested Abraham = and called to him, “Abraham!”  “Yes, here I = am!” he answered. God said, “Take your son, your only son = Isaac, whom you love, and go to Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt = offering on one of the mountains that I will show…

Bad = “Dad” Jokes: **I heard there was a kidnapping at your = school today.  Thankfully the teacher woke him = up.   **Do you know = how to lose a kid at the Mall?  Seriously. Any tips are = helpful.   **The Apple = Store got robbed today.  Police…

MATCHING QUIZ for Explorer of the Seas (cruise ship I = was on with grandkids last month). I = will give ALL the correct answers so no guess-work is needed.Simply = match the correct answer with the question. Easy-peasy 1. Number of photos ship staff take of passengers = each…

A family was = sitting in church while the minister delivered a sermon based on = the timeless story of the prodigal son.   When he got = to the place where the father sees his son returning and races out = to meet him, the minister intoned:"Throwing wide his = arms, what do…

[More off-hand = thoughts on food and dieting]   If my body is = a temple, then eating pancakes is my form of = prayer.   Birthdays are = nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.   Going for a = walk because I want to stay healthy.…

An = airliner flew into a violent thunderstorm and was soon swaying and = bumping around the sky. One very nervous lady happened to be = sitting next to a clergyman and turned to him.   "Can’t you do = something?" she demanded angrily.   "I’m sorry = ma’am," the reverend said…

The telephone rang. It was a = call from his mother. He answered it and his mother told him, "Mr. = Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday."   Memories flashed through his mind like an old = newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.   "Jack,…

What was the FIRST rule of grammar you learned, = probably in early elementary school before you knew that = ‘Grammar’ was something more than the older lady married to = Grampa? “I before “E”, except after = “C”.  Right. Except when your foreign neighbor = Keith received eight counterfeit…

A wealthy woman = returning a book met a beggar on the street down by the steps of the = library.   The man held out his = hand and said to her, "Lady, I haven’t eaten in two = days."   The lady looked at = him and shook…