Grif.Net

“Sorry I = followed your minivan so closely for 30 miles, but I was watching your = kid’s movie and wanted to see how it = ended.”   “Hi. My = name is Jack and I just accidentally hit your car as I was parking. = People saw me, so…

One day, a = poor boy who was selling books from door-to-door to pay his way through = school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was hungry. He = decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost his = nerve…

I= had a dream the other night. I was in the Old West riding in a = stagecoach.  Suddenly, a man riding a horse pulled up to the left = side of the stagecoach, and a rider-less horse pulled up on the = right. The man leaned down, pulled open…

O= ne evening in New York City, a group of United Nation’s employees = decided to go to a fine restaurant.=A0 This included an Englishman, a = Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an = Indian, several Americans (including an Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an…

From Janice: = “My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 am.  2:30 in the = morning!! Can you imagine?  Lucky for him I was still up playing my = drums.”   From Scott: = “Sorry I sprayed WD-40 in your mouth.  But it did stop the = annoying noise…

[Random = thoughts on cars and driving]   “Car = sickness is what you get every month when another payment is = due.”   “Only he = who has traveled the road knows where the pot-holes are = deep.”   “A = mother’s role is to deliver children obstetrically once,…

[Random = Observations about Driving]   “Someone = complimenting me on my driving. They even left a little note under my = wiper saying, ‘Parking Fine”.   “It = takes 8,640 screws and bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to = scatter it all across the road.”  …

You all know = your grandpa’s house.  Let’s say I have a yearly budget = of $44,070.00 to spend on everything I = need.  And I need a lot, so every dollar is precious. I want = to put a fence around my yard to protect you kids when you’re…

A= mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter’s plane here in town. The = daughter had just come back from a tropical island where she was trying = to find love and adventure. As the daughter was exiting the plane, the mother noticed a man = directly behind her. He was…

[This is a repeat Grif.Net from January 1999 when = I’d been serving as a college professor in = Minnesota] Talking to my class = the other day, I mentioned a "happy fizzies’ = party".  Needless to say, that reference was as out of place = as Pinkie Lee, Howdy…

[MORE Bumper = Snickers making their rounds about town] “It’s been = Monday all week”   “All = generalizations are false”   “Honk if = you love peace and quiet”   “Pardon = my driving. I’m reloading”   “I took = an I.Q. test.  The results were = negative”  …

"I’ve = just had the most awful time," said a boy to his friends. = "First I got angina pectoris, then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was = recovering, I got psoriasis. They gave me hypodermics, and to top it = all, tonsillitis was followed by = appendectomy."   "Wow! How…

[As long as = I’ve whined about drivers, check out these classic bumper = stickers.]   “I’= ve had amnesia as long as I can remember”   “Ask me = about my vow of silence”   “Nobody&#= 8217;s perfect.  I am a nobody.”   “Gravity:= Not just a good idea;…