My 9-year-old = daughter and I were flying from our home in Charlotte, North Carolina, = to spend a week with my husband in Miami, Florida. Mike had been in = Florida for five months working for an Internet start-up company. We = were excited about the trip because we…
03/08/19 Grif.Net – Planting Seeds
A young man in = his first home was planting some flower seeds on a sweltering day, = sweating from the hot sun. His neighbor = suggested, =E2=80=9CIf you were smart, you=E2=80=99d wait until the sun = goes down, or plant in the morning when it is = coolest.=E2=80=9D…
03/07/19 Grif.Net – Car Service
When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car = after a service, we were told the keys had accidentally been locked in = it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic = working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.…
03/06/19 Grif.Net – Ordination Memories
[Lots of = variation of this old humor monolog back from my undergrad days. = But it made me look at ordination (nearly 50 years ago today) with great = fear and trepidation] Down in the = deep south lived a man known in his county as “Uncle Zeke.”…
03/05/19 Grif.Net – Kidnapped
"We have = your son," said the kidnapper over the = phone. "I don’t = have a son," says the woman. "Then who = just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crust off his = sandwiches?" "Oh = goodness, you have my husband!" …
03/04/19 Grif.Net – Conversation
Wife: = “I have a bag full of used clothing I’d like to = donate.” Husband: = “Why not just throw it in the trash? That’s much = easier.” Wife: = “But there are poor starving people who can really use these = clothes.” Husband: = “Honey,…
03/02/19 Weekend Grif.Net – Rejoice in Doing Evil
Are = non-believers dissatisfied with their lives? Are they empty or unhappy = with their actions or thoughts? From what I see, most seem to be getting = along just fine without Christ and don’t seem unhappy at all. = How can = this be? The Bible teaches that God…
03/01/19 Grif.Net – March Oneth
[Another month = arrives, and on the first weekday of each month we offer a selection of = word plays and/or puns. Of course, you’re = welcome.] I’m building a car from leftover hardware, junk, = and appliances. I even got the motor from an old washing = machine. I…
02/28/19 Grif.Net – Adding More Problems
[On Tuesday we offered funny jokes for elementary kids about = money. Today’s blog has FOUR slightly tougher use-your-brain = questions for the kids OR the older crowd. Answers next month. Er, = tomorrow.] 1. Using only addition, how can you add eight 8’s to = get the number 1,000?…
02/27/19 Grif.Net – A Dozen MORE Elephant jokes
[Bringing a = new generation up-to-speed on jokes their grandparent’s rolled = their eyes at] Q: How do you = make an elephant float?A: Well, start with a dead elephant, 10 tons = of ice-cream, and lots of root beer Q: Why do = ducks have flat feet?…
02/26/19 Grif.Net – Elementary Money Lessons
[Ten jokes/riddles about money for the grade-school = crowd] Q: Why did the girl hide her money in the freezer? = A: She wanted cold hard cash! Q: When does it rain money? A: When there is "change" in the weather. = Q: Why can’t you borrow…
02/25/19 Grif.Net – Things I’ve Never Heard a Redneck Say
Trim the fat off that steak. The tires on that truck are too = big. I’ll have the Arugula and Radicchio salad. Cappuccino tastes better than Espresso. Unsweetened tea tastes better. Would you like your fish poached or broiled? My fianc=E9e, Bobbie Jo, is registered…
02/23/19 Weekend Grif.Net – In Hot Water
A young&nb= sp;woman went to her mother and told h= er about her life and how = things were so hard for her. She did&n= bsp;not know how she was going to make= = it and wanted to give up. She was = ;tired of fighting and struggling. It = seemed as one problem was solved, a ne= w one arose. Her mother took = her to the kitchen. She filled three p= ots with water and = placed each on a high flame. Soon the&= nbsp;pots came to boil. In the first s= he = placed carrots, in the second she placed&nb= sp;eggs, and in the last she = placed ground coffee beans. She let them&nb= sp;sit and boil, without saying a = word. In about twenty minutes she&= nbsp;turned off the burners. She fished the= = carrots out and placed them in a bowl.= She pulled the eggs out and = placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled= the coffee out and placed it in = a bowl. = Turning to her daughter, she asked, "T= ell me what you see.” "Carrots, = eggs, and coffee," she replied. Her= mother brought her closer and asked h= er to feel the carrots. She did = and noted that they were soft. The mot= her then asked the daughter to = take an egg and break it. After pullin= g off the shell, she observed the =…