Grif.Net

After his appointment, the doctor asked his patient if he = had any other concerns.  The man replied, “Doc, I’m = okay, but maybe my wife needs help.  She thinks she’s a = chicken!"   The doctor inquired, “How long has she had this = condition?"   "Two years." replied…

The big city pre-school teacher was showing pictures of = animals to her students to see how many they could name.   She held up a picture of a lamb, and Lydia said, = "That’s a sheep!"   "That’s right!" said the teacher. "How = about THIS one?" she said,…

  Once to every man and nation comes the moment to decide, = In the strife of Truth with Falsehood, for the good or = evil side; Some great cause, God’s new Messiah, offering each the = bloom or blight, Parts the goats upon the left hand, and the sheep…

Another granddaughter climbed up into my lap and gazed = into my face. Then she asked, "Grandpa, did God make me?" = "He certainly did!" I = replied. Then she touched my wrinkled face and silver hair and = asked, "Did God make you, too?"   "Why, yes he did!"…

An (unnamed) exasperated Grandmother, whose youngest = grandkids were spending the last day of our reunion playing with the = hotel’s automatic doors, tag in the long corridors and squirt gun = fights across the lobby, finally asked the oldest of the bunch, = "How do you expect to get…

On the second day of the reunion, an [unnamed] boy asked his Grandpa, = "Grandpa, make a frog sound."   Of course, the grandfather had to ask him why.   The boy admitted, "Grandma says when you croak she’s going = take us all to Disneyland.”   ~~ Dr Bob…

At our reunion, my sweet granddaughter asked, “Grandpa, do you = know how you and God are alike?”   I mentally polished my halo while I asked, “No. Just how are we = alike?”   She replied sincerely, “You’re both really = old,”   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected]…

[First day of the month and you are in for the usual = pun-ishment]   The Icelandic parliament is in recess, proving Althings must come to = an end. I may only sell hot dog buns, but I’m the breadwiener of my = family.   My goal in life it…

Jenny was a = bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl. One day when she and her mother = were checking out at the grocery store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl = necklace priced at $2.50. How she wanted that necklace, and when she = asked her mother if she would buy it…

An eight-year = old girl went to the office with her father on “Take Your Daughter = to Work” day.   As they walked = around, the little girl started to get cranky and even cry a = little.  Her father asked her what was = wrong.   As the…

Mrs. Harrison took her three-year-old granddaughter, Jenny, to church = for the first time. After arriving, the church lights were lowered, and = then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted = candles.   There was silence in the entire sanctuary until Jenny’s voice was = suddenly heard, loudly…

A man and a = woman were traveling on a train.  They chatted a bit then she said, = “Every time you smile, I want to invite you over to my = place.”   Blushing a = bit, he said, “Awww . . . are you = single?”   She…

This is a = collection of funny one-liners from the doctor’s notes, = exactly as typed by medical secretaries: ·         = Patient has = chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a = year. ·         = On the second = day the knee was better and on…