Grif.Net

An eight-year = old girl went to the office with her father on “Take Your Daughter = to Work” day.   As they walked = around, the little girl started to get cranky and even cry a = little.  Her father asked her what was = wrong.   As the…

Mrs. Harrison took her three-year-old granddaughter, Jenny, to church = for the first time. After arriving, the church lights were lowered, and = then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted = candles.   There was silence in the entire sanctuary until Jenny’s voice was = suddenly heard, loudly…

A man and a = woman were traveling on a train.  They chatted a bit then she said, = “Every time you smile, I want to invite you over to my = place.”   Blushing a = bit, he said, “Awww . . . are you = single?”   She…

This is a = collection of funny one-liners from the doctor’s notes, = exactly as typed by medical secretaries: ·         = Patient has = chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a = year. ·         = On the second = day the knee was better and on…

[Collection of odd thoughts that crossed the wasteland of what’s = left of my brain . . . ]   I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people = die of natural causes.   When weeding, the best way to make sure you…

The surgeon = sat beside the boy’s bed, the boy’s parents sat across from him. = "Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began, "I’ll open up your = heart…"   "You’ll = find Jesus there," the boy interrupted.   The surgeon = looked up, annoyed. "I’ll cut your heart open," he continued,…

[This is a rerun from 20 years ago, but as the wife and I get older, = it seems to age well.  It was used on RFD TV’s = “Larry’s Country Diner” just a week ago and reminded = me that I had sent this joke to my friends two…

When I = pastored in Wisconsin and Minnesota I had to be really careful about = jokes that might be deemed offensive to certain = nationalities.   Couldn’t risk telling a joke about a = German, Pole, Scandinavian, French etc   At a = men’s breakfast when everyone was visiting, joking…

Man is = incomplete until he is married. Then he is = finished.   ~~~ One golfer to = another: First it was my marriage; now, the magic has gone out of my = nine iron too.   ~~~ Love is blind, = but marriage is an eye-opener.   ~~~…

[Actual instruction labels found on products] ON A HAIR DRYER: Do not use while sleeping. =   ON A BAG OF FRITOS: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. = Details inside.   ON A BAR OF DIAL SOAP: Directions: Use like regular soap. =   ON A FROZEN…

[In honor of = Father’s Day, Donna sent me these pithy little phrases from Dad. = Do any of these sound familiar to you?]   "Do it to = make your mother happy."   "Were you = raised in a barn?  Close the door!"   "You = didn’t beat me…

Here are 10 = specific ways you can pray today for members of our persecuted Christian = family: 1.  Pray = they will sense God’s presence      =  (Heb. 13:5) For [God] has said, "I will never leave you nor = forsake you."   2.  Pray = they will…

[As a pastor, I am pleased with hearing such phrases all the = time.  Ah, often.  Or once in a while.  Well, in my = dreams.]   > “Hey! It’s my turn to sit in the front = row.”   > “I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon…