Grif.Net

After his = return from Rome, my friend Jim couldn’t find his luggage in the = Newark Airport baggage claim. He went to the lost luggage office and = told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the = carousel.   She smiled and = told him…

[Hey, you know it’s the only way they’ll = hear.]   *My grandpa says he survived mustard gas and pepper = spray during the war.  He said this made him a seasoned = veteran.   *My grandpa told me he’d personally seen the = Titanic, and from the beginning he…

One day, a = father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country = with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They = spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be = considered…

Our = grandfather clock suddenly stopped working.  So we looked up the = only clock repair office in the state, loaded it in the van and headed = to the shop.   In the shop = was a little old man who insisted he was Swiss but had a heavy…

Best lie I = ever heard was from my Mom who constantly said, “Clean your plate. = Eat all your food so you can grow up big and strong”. A = lie.  Look at me now.  Just big.   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net "Jesus = Knows…

When someone = make you angry, THINK before you speak.  Counting the seconds gives = you time to cool off.   If the person = is younger than you, count to 10 first, then = speak.   If the person = is about your age, count to 25, then speak.…

Tim said, “If you boil a funny bone, it turns into a = laughing stock. I find that humerus.”   Billy said, = “My therapist told me ‘Write letters to people you hate and = burn them.’  Did that, but now I don’t know what to do = with the…

{Reprint on = request from June 9, 2010 Grif.Net.  Laughed then. Laughed again = now.]   Our teacher = asked us what our favorite animal was, and I said, “Fried = chicken.” She said I wasn’t funny, but she couldn’t = have been right, since everyone else in the class…

A man found a = cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and = watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its = body through that little hole. Until it suddenly stopped making any = progress and looked like it was stuck.…

One night, Jim was walking home when, all of a sudden, he = caught a thief reaching his hand into his pocket.  Jim and the = pick-pocket began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground as Jim put = up a tremendous fight.   However, the thief managed to…

I just ate a = frozen apple. Yes, I know. That’s hard = core.   You may ask = why my flock of sheep is purple.  Well, it’s because I herd = it through the grapevine.   An fellow from = India has moved in next door. He has traveled to all…

If cats and dogs didn’t have fur, would we still pet = them?   If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then = what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?   If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?   If swimming is good for your…

A fiend = suggested a way to relax is to list all the states I’ve been in = over the course of my life.Have you ever tried that?  Sounded = like fun!   So far = I’ve listed . . .   *Depressed=   *Bewildered   *Emotional = Wreck  …