Grif.Net

[All the = summer interns are gone. Here are MORE evaluations of crop failure in = our future worker pool]   She’s as = bright as Alaska in December.   One-celled = organisms out-score her in IQ tests.   Donated his = brain to science before he was done using…

[Evaluation of = our company’s employees as they left their summer job with us to = return to university. Names removed to protect any minimal hope they may = have of future employment] His co-workers would follow him = anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.   I would not…

Sometimes = people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant = to be there, to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to = help you figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never = know…

**Our math = teacher asked, “Who would like a refresher course on Roman = numerals?”   Immediately my reply was, “I for = one.” **I found doing algebra with Roman numerals was = super-easy, since “x” always equaled = 10.   **Going to be = tested on Roman numerals next week. …

In religion and politics, people’s beliefs and = convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand and without = examination. Always do right. This will = gratify some people and astonish the rest. If you tell the truth you = won’t have to remember anything. A man who…

I was on a business call when I realized I was late = for a class at the gym.  I must have sounded rushed, because the = woman on the phone asked, “Am I keeping you from = something?” I replied apologetically, “I have to = leave for tai chi.”…

Kenneth asked, “How many roads must a man travel = down before he admits he is lost?”   Scott said, “When checking my balance at the ATM, I = always select the ‘no receipt’ option. Nobody needs to carry = around that kind of negativity in their lives.”   Tim…

[Will = Rogers’ home-spun humor and plain talk is always a = joy]   Advertising is = the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for = something they don’t need.   We don’t seem = to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it…

A smile costs = nothing, but gives much.   It enriches = those who receive, without making poorer those who = give.   It takes a = moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts = forever.   None is so = rich or mighty that he can get along…

[So many = questions with answers that mean so little] If you replace = "W" with "T" in "What, Where and When", = you get the answer to each of them.   Why is there a ‘D’ in fridge, but not in = refrigerator?   Who knew what = time…

The = first-grade teacher asked her students to name an animal that begins = with an “E”. Justin, not the sharpest pencil in the box, = raised his hand. “Elephant!” he said = triumphantly   The teacher = then asked for an animal that begins with a “T”. Justin =…

Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody = agrees that it is old enough to know better.   The secret of = life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you’ve got = it made.   When looking = for a reason why people…

After his = return from Rome, my friend Jim couldn’t find his luggage in the = Newark Airport baggage claim. He went to the lost luggage office and = told the woman there that his bags hadn’t shown up on the = carousel.   She smiled and = told him…