Grif.Net

Yesterday in third grade, a student was lying in the = floor, working in his math workbook. "Why are you doing your = multiplication work on the floor?" his teacher asked = incredulously. "Well, you told me not to = use any tables!" he replied defensively.   [next week is…

IN RESPONSE TO = THE INVITATION FOR A REUNION OF ALL-TIME GREATS . . = . * Newton said = he’d drop in.* Rodin said he’d think about it.* Ohm resisted the = idea.* Boyle said he was under too = much pressure.* Darwin said = he’d wait to see…

I was noticing that one of the English workbooks asks the = students to describe their mother. One of the students described his = mother’s hair as auburn. I was impressed that any student would use such = a sophisticated word. "How do you know your = mother’s hair color…

TYPERVENTILATE =3D to send messages in rapid = sequence   SUCKRIFICE =3D doing what you absolutely must do even = though, in reality, you hate it   PRETEENTIOUS = =3D level of drama only attainable by a 12-year-old   PREGRET =3D = to know what you are about to do…

Debbie was taught, “There is safety in = numbers.  My numbers are .22, .357, .45, 9mm, 30-06 and .38 = special.”   Steve shared, “I’m the real package, but there = may have been some shipping and handling damage.”   Boyd confided, “All I’m saying is, if we had a…

A little girl = suffered from a serious disease. The only chance for her recovery was a = blood transfusion from her five-year-old brother, since he had = experienced the same disease and had miraculously recovered. Thus he had = the needed antibodies to struggle with this = illness.  …

As I was = speaking to a small group that included an Englishman, a Frenchman, a = Mexican and a German, I realized that because of room layout not = everyone could see me properly.  So I stepped up on a stool and = asked, “Can you all see me…

MORE real headlines that make you scratch your head . = . .   **NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP =   **CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED = NEEDY   **XRAYS OF TEACHER’S HEAD REVEALS = NOTHING   **KIDS MAKE NUTRTIOUS SNACKS   **LAWMAKERS =…

Did you hear = about the quarterback who faked the throw and ran the ball?  = It was a faux = pass.   Did you hear = about the old lady who lived in a shoe?  When she = became an empty-nester, she moved to a flat.   Did you…

[“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said = in a rather scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean = – nothing more nor less.”   So let us find a = “meaning” and then MAKE UP new words to match = it.]   ATHLETHARGY =3D the…

[Despite = pleas, the first weekday of the month is replete with so-called = humor]   If your = birthday is today, you obviously weren’t born yesterday. =   Don’t interrupt me when I’m working intently on a puzzle or = you may hear some crosswords.   An outrageous =…

Happiness = keeps you sweet.   Trials keep = you strong.   Sorrow keeps = you human.   Failure keeps = you humble.   Courage keeps = you going.   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net "Jesus = Knows Me, This I Love!"

‘If my = grandmother saw me making mashed potatoes from a box, she would turn = over in her gravy.”   “My = family asked me not to tell any lame ‘Dad Jokes’ at the = table, but I couldn’t quit cold = turkey.”   “Not = saying I ate…