Grif.Net

[Some old, now = new, all way too close to reality. Feel free to use any of these = describing students finally back in the classroom after months of virus = shut-down]   1. Works well = only when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a =…

A = wise teacher once brought balloons to school, told her pupils to blow = them up and write their name on one. After the children tossed their = balloons into the hall, the teacher moved through the hall mixing them = all up.   The= kids were given three…

A friend = ordered breakfast at a local fast-food place. When she got her soda, she = noticed that it has a "contest game piece" on the side of the = cup.   She peeled off = the sticker and instantly started screaming, "I won a motor = home!"  …

Seems that as = we are all aging, my friends now are more like = plants.   Most have gone = to seed, but others to pot.   ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected] = www.grif.net "Jesus = Knows Me, This I Love!"

In the = beginning, God created the heavens and the earth, and then He = rested. Then God = created man, and then they both rested. Then God = created woman, and since then neither God nor man has ever = rested.   Amen. ~~ Dr Bob Griffin = [email protected]…

A little girl = was at her first wedding and gaped at the entire ceremony. When it was = over, she asked her mother, “Why did the lady change her = mind?” Her mother = asked, “What do you mean?” "Well,= I’m not sure, but I think she went down…

My friend = Bruce said his wife told him that his granddaughter has him wrapped = around her little finger.   Bruce denied = it. "That’s not true. I said ‘no’ to her just = yesterday." "What = did she ask you?"   "Well, = she asked me if there…

The Paradox of = our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter = tempers; wider freeways, but narrower view points; we spend more, but = have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.   We have bigger = houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but…

MOUNTAIN = REGIONAL 2020 FEDERAL CENSUS   Last name: = ________________   First name: = (Check appropriate box) (_) = Billy-Bob (_) = Billy-Joe (_) = Billy-Ray (_) = Billy-Sue (_) = Billy-Mae (_) = Billy-Jack   What does = everyone call you? (_) = Booger (_) = Bubba (_)…

I saw a fellow = at the zoo near the wild animal area.  He was looking around = suspiciously and I wondered what he was up to.   Then, as an = animal passed by, I saw him grab the tail of a cheetah when no zoo = attendant was…

[My wide = assortment of friends brings an even wider smile to my face as I read = their “news”.]   Chuck S = lamented, “I’d like to start dieting soon, but right now = I’ve got too much on my plate.”   Bob E wonders, = “Did you hear…

[Continuing = our never-equaled and never-requested attempt at lame = puns]   Baking bread = is like the sun.  It rises in the yeast, and sets in the = waist.   I’m reading a = horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen.  I can = feel it.…

Mark, an avid grif.net fan, was dismayed that we = didn’t include HIS favorite story in my selections on Man of the = House jokes last week.  I was, of course, just trying to save him = personal embarrassment.    Anyway, Mark = and his wife of many decades were…