Grif.Net

[Here are some = scary Halloween “Dad Jokes”]   Q: What = do you get when you burn a monster in Budapest?A: Hungarian = ghoul ash.   Q: Why do = ghosts speak Latin?A: Because it’s a dead = language.   Q: What = does a ghost do when he gets in the car?A: Puts on…

[Since the end = is near (of October) and reasons for celebration diminish in Novembrrrr, = time to unload some lame jokes for Halloween. If you do not celebrate = Halloween, please send your candy to me.]   Q: What’s a = vampire’s favorite fruit? A: = Neck-tarine.   Q:…

The story is = told of the trials of an early settler of our area.  His favorite = donkey fell into an unseen break in the rock, only slightly larger than = the animal.  The vertical rock walls were tight and deep, and no = matter how hard he tried,…

[More = unpublished children’s books for 2021]   In addition to = the 2020 winners of the ‘worst books for children’ . . = .   • = Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence • = The Little Sissy Who Snitched • = Some Kittens Can Fly   • Places…

Going over our = church finances as treasurer, I found a receipt from a local paint = store signed by someone named ‘Christian’. =   I wasn’t aware = of anyone buying paint, so I called the store to point out its = mistake.   "I’m = sorry," I told the…

A funeral = service was being held in a church for a woman who had just passed = away. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carrying the casket = accidentally bumped into a wall, jarring the casket. =   They heard a = faint moan. They opened the casket…

Will R = suggests, “Do we even need Halloween this year? I’ve been = wearing a mask and eating candy for 18 months = now.”   Karrie Beth S = saw a road sign: “Raise your right foot if you hate getting = speeding tickets.”   Ian K = complained,…

Two= retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the = Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching = the sunset.   The= history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read = Marx?”   To = which the professor of psychology replied,…

I am retired = (and often plain tired, too) but have chosen 6 words to remember each = day.   1 – Once = all people in town decided to pray for rain.  On the day of prayer = when all gathered, only one boy came with an = umbrella.That’s FAITH.  2 –…

[Ce= lebrated Columbus Day and found assorted lame jokes related to this = during the week]   How= did Christopher Columbus pay for his trip to the new land? He = used his Discover card.   Wha= t was the biggest event in 1492?Natives discovered a confused = Columbus.  …

[Old buddy of mine Wayne shared this = conversation with his grandchild]   Grandchild: "Can I have candy = for breakfast, grandpa?"   Me: "Of course not, silly. Now = finish your Lucky Charms, doughnut, and chocolate milk. We need to get = going."   ~~ = Dr Bob Griffin…

[Tweens are = not little kids that giggle at our silly jokes, yet not really teens or = young adults who can catch levels of humor far advanced.  So here = are some 4th-7th grade jokes they might enjoy. Or at least not roll = their eyes at too loudly.…

Don= ‘t mess with old people; life imprisonment is not that much of a = deterrent anymore.   How many retirees to change a light bulb? Only one, but it = might take all day.   Fir= st year in retirement is called the "initial" state because of = SS,…