Grif.Net

NEW= YORK, (API) — In a move that rocked the Street today, Bert and Ernie = announced that they had merged to form Bernie, a giant conglomeration of = felt that will move them into the No. 2 spot, past Big Bird and just = behind Barney.   In =…

If = you’ve ever said, “I can’t do anything for God . . . = I’m not good enough . . . If you only knew what my life was = like,“ then it would be good to remember . . = .   Jacob = cheated Peter had a…

If you wear = cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?   If you were = truly telekinetic, could raise my hand?   If I could say = a few words, would I be a better public speaker.   If you had a = beautiful pumpkin, would it be gourdgeous?  …

[Answers to another set of questions from = my overflowing inbox] JoAnn asks, “I just purchased a car = from a guy “as is”, and now I can’t get the reverse = gear to work. What would you recommend?” Dr Bob says, “Well, sounds like an = expensive fix. You…

[After my word = play on knight’s names a few weeks ago, Gene D, Jeff M, Jill L and = Jim M weighed in with their own ideas] Sir = Rendipidy =3D always blissful.    Sir Cull =3D = one who wanders around in the woods.    Sir Plus =3D…

[First of the = month Tom Swifty puns, again.  Just about = c-level]   "I know = where to play golf," said Tom coarsely.   “The = prisoner is here and we’re ready to switch on the electric = chair,” said Tom conceitedly. *   "Rowing = so much hurts…

[Ma= ny are upset with returning to face-to-face employment and need excuses = to continue to stay home.  I can personally attest that many of = these excuses may work.]   I = am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food = Giant.   The= dog ate…

Once upon a = time, two brothers who lived on adjoining farms fell into conflict. It = was the first serious rift in 40 years of farming side-by-side, sharing = machinery and trading labor and goods as needed without a hitch. =   Then the long = collaboration fell apart.…

[If your Teen = is bored this winter, suggest reading a book. Ur at least a title. Here = are some starter ideas.] “My Best Subject in = School”by Jim Class   “The = Future of Robotics” by Cy Borg and = Anne Droid   “Difficul= t High School Math”…

Whi= le shaking hands with the pastor after worship, Mrs. Jones noticed that = he had a rather bad cut on his face.   &#8= 220;Why pastor, what happened? How did you cut your face?,” she = asked.   &#8= 220;Well, I was thinking about my sermon this morning while…

[I regularly = post status-updates of friends, but today sharing what=E2=80=99s going = on with me] I walked down a street where many computer = programmers live. The houses were numbered 64k, 512k, 1MB, 256k, and = 128k. For some = reason it felt like a trip down = memory lane.…

10.= “Did anyone think about bringing umbrellas?”   9. = “Hey, I think there are more than two flies in = here!”   8. "And whatever you do, DO NOT pull this plug = out."   7. = “Okay, who’s the wise guy who let the mosquitoes on = board?”…

[Expanding on = an old joke attributed to any number of comedians we have these entries = . . . ] If lawyers are disbarred and ministers unfrocked, then = perhaps . . .   >> = electricians can be delighted   >> = musicians denoted   >> = cowboys…